Articles by: dodrup
Your hard work and love brought peace, in among us,
Dark, day or gloomy, you strolled back home, on with bliss,
Wait until we are covered with blanket, for warm sleep,
To unfold the new happiness together when next sun and day flip.
Holding high your energy, to feed many, among many as child,
Foot took you away across snow and cliff, hand on the field,
Stock full to the rim, winter not to be worried, and happiness rose high,
Under your arm, we swung with laughter, stand with pride limit to sky.
Though illiterate, you knew the importance, we were made to learn,
With anticipation and wishes, all of us, now hold knowledge to earn,
Sweat to mint penny for us, what you gave us, made us study hard,
Never to let you fall low, but also be your old age supporter and guard.
Grandfather, you became, with nephews and nieces joining your tree,
The smiles, wider it grew on your face, we asked your prayers for free,
To shower, the strength and powers of love like you, into their red veins,
For they, being your part of flesh through us, shall have strength, off pains.
Though we want you always with us, to guide, share and care more,
Life has to end, so shall we human as we have life, but not the core,
You are the centre of us to hold and stand straight, we need you whole,
Not a memory of your face, but to keep you physically on top of head whorl.
Seeing your strength falling, physique shedding and wrinkles adding on you,
The heart that you made smile, now blinks with wonder, what to do,
Prayers of all level are murmured, to seek the blessing and miracles from god,
And the power of our wish for you be with us more, shall be heard, my lord.
Fact of born to die, though shall be the guidance of gaining strength now,
Fighting the medicine with your limited strength shall not be low.
The prayers that we offer to all deity shall not be gone into vain,
Nor shall the lord and deities leave us, for all forever, with pain.
May, our prayers and offerings bring miracle, fortunes and changes onto your health.
Dedicated to my Father In-Law
Letting the tear roll onto the cheek when he blinks the eye after a long gaze towards the ceiling, finally he catch a piece of tissue to wipe it off facing his face down to let the other side not see him crying. But, by the tone he speaks and the lateness in his reply makes it clear that he was not fine and is in deep worry too. But, being thousands of miles away from home, who went to pursue his studies, he can only shed tears throughout day and night worrying back at home and imagining the worst feeling and trouble that his beloved wife and kid is undergoing.
Dorji, with the peer pressure and society challenges was forced to leave family behind for an up-gradation of his qualification and later got landed in a semi-third country. Like other, he was not equipped with a lust of luck to catch the best third country. However with acceptance as a reward from his fate for wherever he gets to pursue his study, he left behind his beloved wife and son and walked towards the country known as an amazing land with sadness in his tamed mind. He wasn’t satisfied with his son’s face and togetherness nor was he able to make the u-turn back home then.
Few days of separation with his beloved one made a minute an hour and a month a year but, with the prayers offered and subsequently the blessing ushered on all of them, nothing much of a disturbance like that of what he was facing now happen happened. Though few misfortunes were there, but their strong love between them though far away, kept them closer and attached. Night though would be an empty night for both of them, their promise which they later made kept them informed of what they should be doing and what they did promised not to.
With a break in between the study period, with their little saving made, he could land back home at the pain of losing those saving from the mere earned monthly salary. Their urges made them be able to sacrifice the monetary mind overcome by their emotions. Few month together back at home, minutes were second, weeks were days and months were like a week. Swiftly he was landed back to continue his study. Though half a dozen of months left to finish, the separating was even harder than the earlier one, when he came first. Their belongingness to each other was always growing deeper and deeper.
As now, when only a quarter of a year is left to finish this long solitude, problem added on problems, worry added on the worries and everything become a “no solution” situation. Whatever came on their way were too harsh to handle. Lack of baby sitter, lack of money as his salary was cut half and domestic problem came in together. If any one of these problems existed, it is easy to be solved but when any of these two appear together, road of the life becomes thorny. When they faced it, there was no solution for it as they have to walk through this road, bleeding from the eye day and night, drenching the pillow and covering the wound underneath the blanket making it unheard to anyone other than them.
When life is an unexpected journey, sometimes, they wished there were some other ways and alternatives to pass that rough journey, which actually will never happen to them, until some miracle happens. The hurt that they carry is never heard and hope after re union, they would be able to face it together wiping of each other’s tear.
It is almost three hours after getting dark in the winter season and it is only 8:00 PM but for me the night has just started. Grabbing the cup filled at the brim with the maize brew, I took my last bottom sip to let sister collect the cup together with the plate that has been left on the floor after our dinner. The maize alcohol brew is a staple drink that we use to have with my dad served by sister to overcome the daily body pain we use to have from the hard works. As soon as I sipped down and hand over the cup to sister to be washed I check the back of the door to get the broom to sweep the floor to make bed for dad. Our one storied one room home is the place we sleep, eat and use as the store.
Making the bed ready for my dad to sleep near the warm mud oven to beat the cold, I then check the shelve above the oven for the torch batteries that I had kept it there in the morning to be recharged by the heat from the fire below during the day time. Keeping an old torch for dad near his pillow to use it when he goes to toilet, I then take the new battery for myself and then feeds into the newly bought torch. Mean time, my nephew Karma has started calling me from outside to go to their night house, where all young boys of the whole village has a particular empty house in the village to sleep together. Taking the torch and listening the guidance and programs for next day from dad, I then inform him that, I am going to join Karma who was waiting for me outside in the cold winter breeze. He understands and bids good night message to each other.
As soon as I leave the house, the night life starts then. All the young people in the village during this winter season seem to me like enjoying two different type of life during those olden days. A working life during the sun time and entertainment life during the moon time. As my nephew and I would take the path towards the house we use to sleep, we make sure that we stops at the community water tap to wash and make ourselves rid of the day long sweat smell and the dirt we would be carrying. Though the winter breeze would be strong enough to freeze us when we touch the water, our urges to get clean during the entertaining moon time help us makes feel the water hot. By the time, we finish cleaning, we would then see many flashes of torches from other side of the village which tempts us to move faster and inform their village friends waiting at the house about the night life going on the other side of the village.
About dozen of boys would then gather together every night and though all are exhausted from the day long work, we would never sleep and give our body rest, rather we start new and adventurous plans and sometimes silly activities, which make us unable to show faces in front of the village people the next morning. Though every person coming to sleep there would bring their own blanket, nobody would bring a mattress to sleep, so any friend who has more jute sacks at home would bring as a mattress so that there is something for us to sleep on. And most of the time, half of the night would be finished by playing card games keeping bet to bring local wine and maize brew the next day to drink away from home with young boy friend away from home. But, those friends whom they have enough radishes at home would bring it voluntarily to make salad during the alcohol session.
Sometimes, winter night are taken without any sleep. As it is a season for oranges, good climber friends would then have already marked the trees during the day time and then plan a robbery it during the night time. By morning, the whole house that we use to sleep would smell of oranges and the from our body too. And that is the time that responsible person like me, and few elder should interfere as middle men to settle the issue of orchard owner and us. But as a life of a boy is naughty, villager has to accept it as they also did the same before then. Sugarcane, sweet potatoes, pomegranates and peas are the main target that we use to make and those unlucky and rich orchards are the loser to this wild young guy who enjoy the time under the cover of the moon.
Frequently, the crawling of bad boys happens under the dark shadow on the windows of the other houses searching for girls. We would catch hold on little conversation from the windows if possible and manage to get in without letting anyone sense the presence, but most of the time, we would get chased away. But in return, we would hang nettle plant from the door, which in the morning, would hit the forehead with pain for those who were harsh for us during out pursuit.
Till this day, these sorts of days are very much missed and we long to get back to this time. Whenever we meet together away from home in the city with any of my friends, we cherished this passed memories during the then night life of ours.
As I am interested in National geographic, Discovery and History channel shows, most of the time in my university during class off days and no-sleep nights I click into the youtube.com and watch the programs to push and pass my time as I had a charge less Wi-Fi connection in the dormitory. Recently, as I was watching through the programs on “Banged up Abroad”, on the side of the playing screen I saw a list showing the tribal people and their dance. It caught my eye directly and then immediately I clicked on it to watch it. It took my attention because it seemed to me as a good opportunity to watch this sort of program alone where you can see people cloth less and all of their body exposed. Moreover, when at home, whenever this sort of programs are broadcasted, we should avoid it as the whole family at the home is watching a single TV and it is shameful to watch it together as there are unwanted scenes to be watched within family members.
As I selected and clicked to watch this program, a line of program related to tribal and bushman lined up from the side of the screen and I then clicked to open it all in different windows tabs and watch it all simultaneously. Some programs were too short and other was little bit boring. Luckily I got into few programs which made me think.
One program that I watched was on the life of tribal women in some part of African country. The women in that tribe are treated as the main workforce. They fetch the water, food and make shelter. They take care of the household needs and every work outside should also be done by women all the time. Now, what does a man do? The man does nothing. They sit together in a group and enjoy making themselves handsome by coloring their face, making their hair and shaping their body. They don’t even bother how the women are working and then just ignore even if they see a women carrying a huge load at the back with baby hanging from her front and walking with sweat. The men rather walk along the path, holding a long stick and trying to show off their decoration to the women. Then I thought where would the “Hell” be called for women, if this is not? And also who would like to be born as women here? And now, I just made it to myself that, those men, who are currently under the full control of women and those women who bullies their men currently, must be getting their rebirth here.
Another program was of the same theme, but it was about the men. In this program, the only painful work that the women do is to give birth. She doesn’t have to do any work both outside and inside the house. It’s the men who have to do it both. She doesn’t need to even breastfed the child. The man should make an artificial breast from a coconut shell and start feeding with milk from domesticated animals right after the birth and when the baby wants to breast feed, he have to take the artificial breast on his chest and then let the baby suck it acting him as a mother. Why don’t the women feed? The women don’t feed, because, if the baby sucks her breast, the worry of getting the breast shapeless and its damages on their body beauty stops them to feed and. The man should then take over the full charge as a mother. The men in this tribe are mother, father and worker. What struck me was, surely this is the “Hell” for man. And I made to myself that, those men who don’t take care of their women and those women who are fully bullied by their men must be getting their rebirth here.
Today, as I am writing this, my quest to search programs about this tribal are still green. It makes me think that all sort of life cycle for human are in this round/flat earth. It made me think that, a heaven on top and a hell below us is just a metaphor. This cycle of life realms are near you, me and everybody of us and makes me understand what sort of life each realm has.
Any actions that we make, words that we speak, thoughts that we think are therefore watched and the path to the better or worst place of rebirth gets paved accordingly.
Just after completing my class six common exam, I rushed to my home to convey the message that I have done the exams well hoping to make my single parent “dad” happy. It wasn’t more than a year after our mother left to heavenly abode and that emptiness in our home was still lingering in the hearts of all siblings. Out of six, four of us were studying with the eldest doing his training in one of the health institutes in the capital city. Though, he doesn’t ask for monetary help, dad tried to send small amount through those were leaving for the capital city. Life was so tough that time, as I can feel on the face of my dad to keep the home alive and to keep us studying continuously. He would say, my aim is to let you all study to whatever level you can reach.
After few days of winter holidays at home from my school life, my dad then said to me; now as you have to go to a junior high school far from village to study in class seven, we two have to work together to make money so that when it is time to go to school, we can do some necessary shopping. But I was only 12 years old then and our money making business wasn’t an easy job. To fetch the raw materials and to reach the finished products, we had to travel most of the time under the coverage of dark and risk our life. I had keep pace with the elders and sometimes cross the thigh deep river just by clinging on the weight of the load that I carried on my back to make me heavier to not let the current sweep me.
Actually, we did the business of what we Buddhist considered unethical and is not as per the norms. But to maintain our living, we did a business in trading dried marijuana to the bordering Indian state of Assam via the mule track that our ancestors used before through our village. Every week, when dad and I used to make the journey to the bordering state, my face, through the sweat and tiredness would tell, how afraid I was when we encountered the army along the borders. But, as we mingled with the caravan carrying oranges, the army couldn’t notice our products and wouldn’t care to check the horses as it would take very long to check all. What they did was just prick forefingers through the hole of the basket. And, while checking, it was difficult to find those products deep inside the basket, as my dad was an expert on packing the products by putting oranges from the three outside face of the basket and stock ration and vegetables on top of it. Even when they prick the finger, they would feel oranges and just an eye checking will never find what was inside, unless they check it one by one opening. But as a young heart, the fear would overcome my strength easily and I would sweat and pray for my local deity to let us go ahead.
The journey to reach to the selling point of those products takes 16 hours of walk crossing a high mountain and then a continuous downhill knee paining drop with the scorching sun overhead and can’t see even a small pool of water till we reach the foot of the mountain from where the bordering plain starts. The journey which starts on Thursday by around 4:30 AM by lighting the bamboo fire till the dusk will continue till the stop at the bordering plain for night halt. The next day we shall then catch the caravan to move along into the Indian state path to avoid any conflict with the army and the Indian local people. A night halt in the elephant infested plain after a tiring walk would help to ease the cracked and cramped calf to rest. The journey tomorrow (Friday) would be only about 4 hours and it’s a walk on the sandy path with every step digging and slipping inside the sand would be tiring too. In total, the journey would take minimum of 20 hours of walk. And at that age, walking at the speed of the elder people and the horses was the worst pain that I still have with me in the bone, which will test me when I grow old. And this journey was continued in every winter vacation till my second year in college. The vacation of about 3 months would be my entire trip to Assam with those products, whereas those friends of my age in the village were enjoying and resting from the harsh school life. Dad will only stop when it is so close for me to go to shopping and then to school directly on March 10th every year.
Currently when I am not even in thirties, the leg I use to walk for hours has given its power and frequent night muscle cramp overtakes it and the chest that I use to lift the 40 kilo bag of rice to load on the horse has started making a cracking noise. However, the education that I earned till my graduation was all with the help of my dad and this product which we took the risk and traded with courage. My Dad’s only wish in life was to give us education and it made him courageous. Life was not easy, and now, with deepest respects and regret, my dad and we pray for the sin to be rinsed and let there be no other days as harsh as those were. And I am hoping always that, this hard earned life will lead me to a longer life to enjoy what I have got from it.
It is 6:30 PM and the winter sun had given its power to the mighty full moon to take the in-charge to light the busy capital city too keep the nocturnal life moving forward to get into the beautiful dawn. The chilly breeze blowing from the river Wangchu takes its move. The street becomes less crowded and people then start to gather into their home to keep themselves warm. For those who have home would be sitting on their warm couch tugged with inner cloths to fight back the cold winter weather of Thimphu.
Walking down the main street, with a black and white nokia mobile phone clutch in his left hand and his right hand inside his gho pocket is Dorji, a son of a farmer who has been to the city to attend the orientation programs and then to sit for the exams as he has completed his graduation. Being from an uneducated family tree, they don’t have any siblings who are educated and staying in Thimphu to host him. With limited hard earned money during his winter vacation, he has to weigh the importance of the spending and has to always think three months ahead and plan his money management. Seldom, his days are with three meals and most of the time, it is only an affordable lunch and a light dinner. And the reason for his walks down the street at this cold hour is to reduce the time of his stay with one of his far relative who hosts him, so that he doesn’t become a disturbance to their private life.
Pretending to be engaged in the mobile to let other people not suspects him of any reason while walking up and down the street; he would dial 123 and listened to the auto reply of the telecom service. He wished to receive a call from his old father from the phone of the relatives in their village and to convey the message to not to worry much about him but he won’t as his father can’t pay the charge. Moreover Dorji could not afford to call his dad, as his mobile calling balance should be used in only important job search purpose and he cannot recharge anytime, as it will reduce his planned meal schedule next time.
As the darkness engulf the night by stealing the light of the moon, the air around the city gets colder and few people walks along the street. Beggars along the street has taken the shed near the beams of the building and some even along the corridor, trying to be away from the chill air by covering themselves with rugged cloths and pieces of news papers. He felt so sorry but, looking to himself, he felt they are instead happier than him, as they got some place to rest, whereas he is still in a open air. He would once even decide to sleep along with them, but, his only hand-woven gho has to be kept clean, as anybody can call him tomorrow to attend the interview. By this time, it is almost 10:00 PM and by next 30 minutes, his host would sleep after watching the entire Bhutanese serial and he has to reach to the house before they sleep. If he reaches after they sleep, he won’t be able to ring the door bell in fear of disturbance and his night to rest has no destination.
He should now walk toward the home, as it takes 20 minutes to reach from the city. On his way, he has to search a stick and carry some stone in his hand, as dogs along the way are usually seen attacking people. Even with the bone chilling breeze, he gets sweat on top his nose as his energy of the early lunch has already been finished and the fear from dogs made him jog rather walk. Reaching home, he would hesitantly knock the door and then, their house maid would open the door. Soon he enter the room, he would then take off the shoe and then go to the bath room to wash his foul smelling feet, as he had only one pair of socks and shoe, which he has to use it in all kind of weather. They would then ask Dorji to take dinner, IF he has not taken, but, a guest answer to the host is, always denial when the word “IF” is used in offering things.
He silently slips into the bed with a smile on his face, for getting at least a place to sleep away from cold. He then prays and then goes off to sleep as his tomorrow is no more different.
As the time goes on, so does the rules, which go towards getting stringent and narrower, which at the end come like a hard squeeze on the throat. And this sort of feeling usually comes when the last resort of what you can do to the best ability is completely exhausted. When it strikes, it comes gradually with the sense of feeling with it, but cannot push or avoid it either, as it has its own power of piercing the smile on the face to make it bleed and turn it into a stricken grin on the face.
It was in 2010 when they, known each other through their friends decided to tie their knot of love and started to move into the line of the married life. Nothing could turn their will into negative direction to refuse each other’s plan and nor did their parents have any objections on their choice. Both of them were happy and their parents too. Life went normal with the joining of their lucky son into their family, gifted on the date of the auspicious day in a normal delivery under the supervision of the medical care. Happiness came into their life and they were enjoying with their new step of parenthood. Neighbors and outsiders appreciated their ways of living and the belongingness they have to each other and their faith in religion.
With things becoming competitive in their work life and living standard getting harder too, the husband then decided to plan for a studies in third country, so that he can be away from home at the younger age of their married life, and then be with family together when the needs of a male part is required at the later stage of their married life’s step. He tried for studies in greener pastures, where he saw many colleagues returning with thick pocket and settling back in home peacefully. But, his limited scores and his thin age of experience became bottlenecks and could not make it to that land. At this time, their son was almost quarter a year and now she has to rejoin her office after the maternity leave. At this stage, a family member of her came in rescue to look after their son and be with them although herself being three month old pregnant. We thanked all.
Life then came to normal once again with a mother like baby sitter at home and they could go to office without fail. Meantime, the husband continues his mission for studies and has applied to a scholarship, but it was in a place, where that country itself has unemployment problem, forget about getting a side income. Hopes of earning were now gone, although their plan to complete the studies at this young age can be fulfilled. There was no returning back to their decision to let him complete his studies as her family member assured to stay with them looking after their son till he return.
Twelve months passed away from home for his studies and home being taken cared by her and the baby sitter, life seems moving normal, but the rules and policy then struck onto their peace and it was his salary being then deducted to half for the remaining period of his study. He still had nine months to go. As ill luck comes, it comes together. The baby sitter was then called back home by her husband, as it is more than a year, without seeing her and wanted to see his new born child. The house rent got its injection of inflation and got raised by a half of thousand. And now, the survival of the home is totally dependent on her meager salary that she gets from her job, as more than eighty percent of husband’s half salary goes to the house rent.
The time of “no choice” now came ringing in the rooms of their happiness. They can’t stop the baby sitter to go home back as she is being called by husband. The rent of the house could not be argued, as we can’t find any home immediately, the other half of salary can’t be requested as the rules and polices says so and the course he was attending could not be shortened, as the requirement of the institute is strict. At this dilemma, nothing could save them from the harsh life until the husband join the home back and earns his full salary. The wife can’t be on leave to look after their son, as the salary she gets will only run the house alive. When the time of no choice struck, there is nothing other than trouble and that too in a chain, where you can’t escape from any. At that time, he remains sleepless during night and stay praying in the whole class hour in day time.
Entangled are our fingers, feet on one counted step alike,
Walking the street with smile of one reason, custody of each other,
Frequent checks with wallet, to lessen irrelevant purchase she makes,
And regret for reason she can’t find, why she bought the things,
Giving me courage to call her a thoughtless girl, but with a deep love inside.
Dress she wore, the best attire we choose to fit her face print,
Outer and inner apparel are then held on, the best we both can see,
Slipper and boots, a seasonal channel change, the choice of her,
And, what other say to her looks, is what touches my romance,
Pulling my strength to call her a thoughtless girl, but with love in my speech.
Home care, decoration, arrangement are the chores of weekends,
Heavier if the thing is, my name always rings, to push it,
Lighter if is, proudly she moves with guidance and arranged with respectable line,
Making the home, change its looks, many times a month, frequent in a year,
Hurting my emotion to call her a thoughtless girl, with attachment eternal.
Kitchen queen, a dish of choices tabled, sometimes a home reflection food,
Though with sweat dripping, sweet aroma rushes, with song tune along,
Calling sometimes to open a can, which after decade of practice she could not,
When dark, to close the curtain, for her soft heart to be bold to cook alone,
Pushing me into her to call a thoughtless girl, with care enormously.
Weekends, though an early alarm clock calls, waking late is her habit,
Kid climbing on her messy hair, making her scream but nothing disturbs,
Until, a loud noise of playing thud comes from me and son,
Letting her wake up, with one eye still closed, a blink of anger to us,
Hesitantly, I call her a thoughtless girl, with a same wink on my eye.
Frequent as shooting star, her anger strikes his mouth,
Changing her tune of speech, sometimes which makes us shed tears,
Mostly a word of fun, to bring back the lost love by force of anger,
And in real anger, a person, not to be disturbed, just not to add on fuel,
Fearfully I call her a thoughtless girl, but a word of emptiness, of no reason.
Never wish there be a day I want to be away from her,
“Thoughtless girl” though I call her, I count on our decision, her power,
As she is the mother to our home, an icon to lend lap, when in moods,
Quick her thinking moves, the better the consequences,
And happier we are, luckier we become and peacefully we can lie,
Together towards the line of death, satisfied, and with prayers to match again.
Thousand miles, though I crossed away from thee,
Never a single minute I forget, so like unending wave of sea.
Days counted on a torn calendar on my room wall,
I long to meet, to hear your voice, to see you grow tall.
Best friend we will be, and do naughty, together and same,
Walk the same step, and conquer the success and fame.
I promise, never to let us be away neither too far in bed,
We will dream on a pillow, smile on same sprit to sad.
Your mother, my wife, we shall include her name in our prayer,
Her health is our happiness, and smile for her best care and dear.
Our home, your heaven, the palace we belong to, from birth,
We keep bright and warm, for our safety for impossible dearth.
Blessed am I to have you on my lap, with great hope,
Never would there be any negative, your words I judge top.
Among best, the offers I will make to you are better,
To let not gloomy face overcome, but to keep always sweeter.
Best will be the time, when we pass it together with care,
The better time, we continue with beauty in love and live near.
Let the prayers, I beg continue the journey to reach the blessing images,
To shower us, his best enrichment for our long life together.
Everlasting promises, to be always together until depart,
For making memories beautiful, never walking apart.
Days with you, the shortest and adorably passed far,
The nights, warmest and soothing, when you are near,
With reason in million of you, I am missing you a lot.
Beautifully your hair are arranged, with scent odor of blue,
Yours finger slipping through it as soft as the feathers do.
Colored red on the nails, holding its golden diamond doted ring,
It waves and dance, tuned to the melodies of the speech you sing,
With such qualities on you, I am missing you a lot.
Kind in heart, soft in words, you were the queen to the eye’s of all,
With blessing and fate, I hold you as my own, proudly and loudly I can call.
Holding the pride, every new day opened on me let to happy dawn,
To walk along with, you holding my arm tightly, I walked like swan.
With those memories now, I am missing you a lot.
Shared feeling of both for tear and laughter we gathered as one,
To cry the happiness of luck, for sadness of silly mistakes done.
You were the queen in cheering my success and a mother to sooth me in pain,
Never to let me be alone under sun or rain, then I loved you as your gain.
With best motive inside you, I am missing you a lot.
Being separated to walk on own carpet toward success and stand strong,
My prayer includes your name day and night, and god won’t do us any wrong.
Though away from my touch love, you are closer in my heart, mind and dream,
Lets pray now, to meet in future, to once again say “I Love You” with scream.
My dear, I am missing you a lot.
Missing You A Lot.
Everlasting promises, to be always together until depart, For making memories beautiful, by never walking apart.
Days with you, the shortest and adorably passed far,
The nights, warmest and soothing, when you are near,
With Reason in million of you, I am missing you a lot.
Beautifully your hair are arranged, with scent odor of blue,
Yours finger slipping through it as soft as the feathers do.
Colored red on the nails, holding its golden diamond doted ring,
It waves and dance, tuned to the melodies of the speech you sing,
With such qualities on you, I am missing you a lot.
Kind in heart, soft in words, you were the queen to the eye's of all, With blessing and fate, I hold you as my own, proudly and loudly I can call.
Holding the pride, every new day opened on me let to happy dawn,
To walk along with, you holding my arm tightly, I walked like swan.
With those memories now, I am missing you a lot.
Shared feeling of both for tear and laughter we gathered as one, To cry the happiness of luck, for sadness of silly mistakes done. You were the queen in cheering my success and a mother to sooth me in pain,
Never to let me be alone under sun or rain, then I loved you as your gain. With best motive inside you, I am missing you a lot.
Being separated to walk on own carpet toward success and stand strong, My prayer includes your name day and night, and god won't do us any wrong. Though away from my touch love, you are closer in my heart, mind and dream, Lets pray now, to meet in future, to once again say “I Love You” with scream. My dear, I am missing you a lot.
Today, the day started with early rising by the alarm as usual at 7:00 AM. As I had to catch up the time with the class timetable which starts after 2 hours, normally waking at this time makes me have some time to recite the prayer books and be ready in time for the class too . As of today, the number of days was just countable at my finger bends to finish the remaining days to reach home and be with my family on my semester break. With final exams close too, the few days left were to be used at the fullest so that, I don't have a chance to leave the question in the exam unanswered.
But, today was a class off day, as we were given a preparatory leave for the exam. Every student was seen with thick a book that is being added up with the lecture notes too. Me too, after finishing all the morning duties of showering, praying and noodelling, I grabbed my bag, with text book and notes. But, before I lock my room, a sting hurt me inside and gave me a hint to take my passport to get a “entry visa” from the university support office, so that I will use it when I return from home after the break. That gave me some extra job today along with the study to go and request the Government Relation Officer to arrange a trip to the immigration office, not coinciding with my exam schedules.
Upon, calling my country women, the only mate in my university, I knew she too was planning to go get the visa from the officer, to reduce the hassle and financial burden back at home while processing and making it. Agreed through call, we went together. But, a shocking response from the Officer's mouth was to our dismay; your visa to legally stay in our country is “Expired” two months ago. Oppss….Tickets are all booked and gifts all bought and packed, dreams of reaching home was shattered. She turned red, voice changed and sighs heavily. The moments of disbelief and uneasiness, uncontrollable negative thinking and blaming our self made both of us not to be able to concentrate for studies. Exam is on tomorrow. The feeling of something chasing me is still felt now and can't concentrate still.
Another important work I had today, was to submit a confidential complain/feedback on the courses that my school offers us and also on the assigned teacher. This complains would bring some bad news on the teacher but also an improvement on the student's side. So, today being the last date to submit it, I had prepared a 2 page feedback and complain yesterday, about the courses and on an irresponsible teacher. I was supposed to drop it in the complain box by 4:00 PM today.
But, with this bad incident that happened on me, I was totally disturbed and there is no peace at all. That word still haunts me now and feels like; I am chased by a sound of siren to arrest me. That single worry is making me have this much heavy pain.
Thinking this pain on me, I decided, not to write any negative of the teacher and submit. He is also a human being like me, and has the heart and mind to get hurt. What would happen to his feeling, when he sees all students after him, complaining and requesting a change? Where would he get the bread to eat, if he is not wanted by the school anymore? How much pain will it give on his feeling?
Though my problem on visa issue is on a seesaw, not knowing, which side would be heavy, I decided myself not to put my complaint on the teacher. I am now wishing, he should not get a feeling like me, when he is in desperate need of a job. And may his happiness that he will gain from my non submission, would be able to shed a light on my problem to make me smile, at least.
Staying away from my country boundaries, makes me feel like a fish, forced to stay in a biggest dirty pond.
My note : Sometimes, it is easier to compromise, by just seeing our self.
Maneuvering the sharp turnings, reducing the gears on the high steep climbs simultaneously and maintaining the speed on the downhill roads, Karma is into his job of ferrying passengers all over the country as far as to the east from the capital city and close as from Mothithang to the bus terminals every day of the month and year for the last 7 years. He has chosen his life on the wheels to support his living and to also provide his younger brother's and sister's educational expenses as his poor farmer parents are not able to support.
It is 7:00 AM now and his alarm clock set at 5:30 AM has rung for the fourth time striking every half an hour. Yesterday he slept late, as he targeted the busy city life at night hours during the weekends to cover up the maintenance expenses and to get enough for the rent as the deadline was approaching. Quickly, switching the electricity for rice cooker, he then grasps the toiletries and rushes to the bathroom cum toilet makeshift hut and gets himself alive. Hurryingly he gallops the warmed rice with the leftover curry that he made for his lunch yesterday and then gets set for his long day journey to earning with his Alto Lxi Taxi.
As it was morning, people who didn't get the public bus tickets would catch the taxi to move to the shorter distance district to return back early. Karma then directly went to the bus terminal and targeted those people who would go to Wangdue/Punakha or even on the way place before reaching the targeted destination. He is now shouting for around 30 minutes and suddenly a young man walked towards him and said he has his parents going to Wangdue. He thanked himself for waking late and invited the old passengers to the car and waited for the seats to be filled. By the time, the crowd in the terminal was fading, and hoping no other additional passenger to turn for; he started the engine, murmured few words of prayers and started the journey.
With some instinct to get additional passenger as he had two empty seats, he took the old highway passing Lungtenphu via Samarsingkha and then turn from the Semtokha prayer hell roundabout which connects to the western highway. Staying alert to the sign of any people waiving to stop him, he passed the road above the Changjiji housing complex and when he reached the first gate at Lungtenphu, two young men, dressed in a camouflage army dress stop his car. Happily he parked his car at the road side and invited them and hoping that they would have bedding and big bags, he took out his ropes to tie it on the small carrier that his small Alto car has. Karma asked to bring the luggage, but they carried only a small bag, which was small enough that they can keep on their lap, so, with no further delay, they started the journey.
Karma is a jolly person and was loved by all of his family members, driver friends and even by the traffic police. So, to make the journey felt short and to keep him awake, he started to ask the two old people, which side of Wangdue they were living but as old people sleeps as soon as the car starts its momentum, the grandfather replied sheepishly, I stay next to the bridge, so we will drop at the bridge. Grandmother at that time was already asleep on the shoulder of her husband. Keeping his voice low to not disturb the two old people's sleep, he asked, where the two army constables were going. Taking a deep sigh, the younger man replied, we are going to the Army Headquarter to undergo Special Ammunition training for three months. Karma didn't feel comfortable to hear the reply from him, as he replied after taking a deep breath, and he said, Yes I know sir, how difficult the duties and responsibility the army has to carry both during the day and night and the harshness of the trainings. The difficulties that you take are the main source, where we enjoy the peace and sovereignty of the country.
By this time, Karma has maneuvered and climbed the steep road and has reached Dochula, a place where 108 stupas were constructed in the memory of that brave army who has lost their lives while protecting the country. The two army personal requested Karma to stop for a while to let them make a prayer, and as soon as the car stopped, both of them ran to an open space and made three prostrations to pay their honor and respect to their fellow army, who were brave to stand at the front to protect the country. Karma was stunned and was left sitting still inside the car watching them. His heart felt the strike of trust and reverence towards, what our arm personnel are doing.
After praying, both of them came inside and thanked him for stopping as per their request and conveyed their wishes to let Karma get full passenger while returning back to Thimphu. Karma with a smile on his face said, sir, it depend on the luck and sometimes luck does not favor and we have to bear the running cost of the car and run on a small amount of profit and it is difficult to meet the monthly expenses also. Then a question came from the other army passenger, do you have a family? He directly said no, I don't have sir, but, I have my two younger family members with me, who are studying in the city school so, I can't afford with this minimum amount of earning to support my married life, so decided not to marry now. Do you both have family? He asked back to the army passenger. Together, like they say yes to their captain during the attendance time, a loud yes echoed the car and it also disturbed the sleep of the two old passengers.
By this time, Karma was going downhill, and to save the fuel, he was on the neutral gear. With the cost of fuel soaring high, he wants to lower the level of fuel consumption to continue his earning after expenditure to be like before. To continue their conversation, Karma said, yes sir; I know how difficult it is to separate from your family even for a day and you two seems are going for a longer duration, but as you are moving on a journey to safeguard the country, both of you are the father to the whole citizen of our country and everybody of us are your children, so you will be loved, wherever you go and get the love that you will miss from your family, so you won't miss the love and care of your children. That brought a smile on their face. With downhill road, Karma can increase the speed and by this time, they reached to a hot spring, blessed by some saint a century ago and the two old passengers too were awake. All of them came out, took a sip of water, washed their feet and face and then continued their journey. But, the older army passenger had collected the water in a bottle with him. He said, this holy water, I won't be able to wash for the next three months, so I want to take it with me to wash my body, when I get the a free time.
As they move towards the destination, the heat of the area was rising and it signaled that they were reaching their destination. Finally the old men stop the car and said they will drop off and walk towards the home uphill. The army sitting at the back seat with them carefully lends the hands of the old man and the women and bid farewell and greeted to see them again in future. The fares for them were paid to Karma by the young man that he was approached at the bus terminal, so within no time, Karma started accelerating his car towards the final destination of the passengers. Crossing through the bridge over the Bhutan's biggest river, they were reaching the destination to drop off. Soon they reached the gate of the army headquarter. The area was in buzz with movements of army up and down and students of the arm forces moving to school.
Finally, the two army passenger dropped of the car and they were searching their wallet to pay the fare. As the older one found his wallet before than his friend, he approached Karma and asked how much the fare is? Karma with a smile on his face said, Sir, I am thanking myself that; I have brought two true warrior of my country to be trained further to be a brave soldier. The service I did today, to ferry you two for your training here are not yet enough to pay my homage for safeguarding me, my family, my citizen and my country. I can't charge you the fare, rather I should have taken you further inside the camp, but, as my car is a taxi, I am not allowed to enter inside. This is the furthest I can get in. Thank you for taking the seat in my car.
The two army constables, as gratitude gave a grand salute to Karma, and in reply to their salute, he folded his both hand making one and prayed to have the nation being protected and remained as happy as ever it was by the brave soldiers of Pelden Drukpa.
Through the toughness and happiness, he had shed tears of the worst fear and of the joy.
Through time and places, he had stand for us facing the dark arrow of sadness and
Through loneliness and orphanage in us, he had fulfilled to fill the gap of love of a mother.
My father was born in the year of 1958 which coincide with the year of rat. And similarly as like his birth year, I have seen my father as always like a rat, doing some work that is not that important but by putting his mind into that work, the non important work is then made to be thought to be an important task, where he will then has to continue it doing, until the whole work is completed. He was never leaving anything untried. Holding his same spirit of his toughness to fight every obstacles and the willingness to work every second of his life, he has made his face into a page of wrinkles which even when he smiles now, the wrinkles are seen more than his smiley face makeup. The edge of his both eyes has now tributaries of wrinkles and is seen as a sign of his troubles and hardship taken during his childhood, adulthood and now in the grand fatherhood too.
Even during the auspicious festival and feast celebration day, my father would not waste his whole day attending the celebration. During the time of the feast celebration, he will be the mentor to our sisters to cook the food and curry. I am sure that, it was only at the time I sees him calm and not in a hurry mood just sitting near the hearth. But he would always like to see the flickering of the fire from the side of the pot kept on mouth of the oven and he will keep on reminding us to keep inserting and push the firewood frequently inside the oven. He would also give the best idea to cook colorful rice in addition to the normal white rice by adding the turmeric powder. And, during any celebration, he will then attend those important schedules and would leave to the forest taking his few cows for grazing. He was never seen straying like other villagers whole day enjoying through games and drinks. He was more satisfied, when he sees himself working, when others were wasting the time.
He is seen to be very creative in making new things and he likes to see other villagers following his footsteps, and still at this age, he wants to be at the top of making things into prefect in our small hamlet by trying to do all the possible means and showing his ability to do different beautiful things, which other people have never thought of doing it. And, in this process of showing off his talents, we should be his robots to his remote to make it happen. No matter, where you were studying, which class you study and when you had reached home for winter vacation after 9 months, he would smile and utter his most awaited word after few hours of sitting together, “tomorrow he have to go to bring potato seeds from other side of the village”. Next day of our arrival at home, we will be seen carrying sack full of potatoes, where other friends who came home with us from school, would be bathing in the sun besides their parents as they may have missed the a lot.
However, he was seen as a perfect father to me. At my age of 11 years old, we were left with only his as our parents as our luck could not hold the life of our mother to stay longer with us. And, with her heavenly departure from my father, he stood firm and has dedicated his life to our well being and to educate us to the farthest possible. Knocking all the strategies to cover up the expenses for in and outside the home, he alone made it possible to happen for three of us to continue the education although he was sweating to earn.
Today, I am taller than him, 18 kg more than his weight and I have more fats, even then, I have to still lot to learn from him. He is teaching me how to overcome fear when I am afraid, to be creative when I want to see myself happy and to be always ahead of dateline and timeline. His punctuality has taught me the value of time and his self scarifies of his life to his siblings has helped me in gaining my confidence to make my son like him. To me, he is my perfect father.
Lastly his only answer, when we request him to stop the home works and retreat to prayer and is
“What if I stay not working, don't I need to eat” and he would not listen to any of us, when we say to come and stay with us for his rest of life.
Greed is a term defined as an excessive desire or a wish of acquiring or possessing more than what one needs or deserves. By this piece of thinking in our mind, the total living style of the people gets changed with the aim of fulfilling the desire. Every creature on this earth has the greed in their mind. From a small ant to the biggest blue whale, greed is a part of our stages in thinking.
Although, the greed in the animal kingdom are not so often seen or watched by humans, the best show from the greed, which we can see is in the life of a human being. It is the main factor which creates a disturbance in all thoughts of the human and can also alter the whole nature to a totally different one. A person who is not getting what he wants is little bit happier than then person who gets what he desire. The lesser the satisfaction a person get after desiring, it lessen the greed than those who gets what they desires. If a person gets whatever the desires is, the desire level of wants will never be lesser than before. Therefore, the more desire a person has, the more worry he has and then the uneasiness in his mind, which is unhappiness.
A wealthy person is sometimes the greediest and then followed by the beggars. The wealthy people are greedy of the fear that they might not be able to keep the same level of wealth and the beggars are greedy because, they are worried of the next breath of their life. However, their intention of greediness can be differentiated as black and white. Black because, they fear for the decreased of their value and amount of wealth and white because, they are worried of their next life to breath one more time.
The search of life partner has also now become an activity that is forced by greed. No matter which religion they be, what oath they have, what type of spiritual lineage they be and from wherever they are if someone has a wealth that can praise the other opposite sex, getting a life partner is definite whatever you have on your face. By that time, even a black mole on the nose will look like a wooden lump gem worth marrying. And to those wealthy, only those with equivalent possessions would be able to approach to be an in-law in their family tree. Not concerned what love is, marriages sometimes are tied within those who do not love each other, but made to love only by the smell of the gold and silver hanging. Today, we sometimes can watch an unfamiliar divorce of marriage occurring after a grand marriage celebration as if like those thousand guest who came to wished their marriage came for to wish them a swift divorce. However, on other the other line, a normal person is able to get their life partners at its level who love and care but not the wealth.
Therefore, although the evil of greed has to be a part in our mind, we can overcome to some extend and then try to reduce the level of greediness. By bringing down the level of greediness, the peacefulness in mind automatically will increase, which everybody wants it. If our greediness is instead raised, the worry in us just increases and our Mind, Body and Speech are then not in peace. Mind will drive you to sense you to make gains by whish our body will then be the salve to the mind and the speeches that come out are lesser in truth. Thereby poisoning our thoughts our self
“We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have” – Frederick.
With excitement and enthusiasm we all waited for the January 29, 2012 to open the MoE website to see the Class XII result declared as per the deadline announced. However, the day didn't turn to be as excited as we were as the result could not be declared which after inquiry, found that they are not yet ready to declare and the date of declaration is not finalized yet. So, the day went as a normal day to all of us and another unknown waiting began for the result. However, every citizen forgot that January 29 was a Sunday, which we Bhutanese civil servant will be on holiday and press release was not able to held for declaration of the result and on contrast unethically the BBE officials has announce the date on a holiday.
Blaming all these, we decided we will keep our ears open for any announcement and inform all of us as and when anybody hears the news of the declaration of result. I being far from homeland have requested my niece to post me the details of the marks, if by any chance the result got declared on the day after the deadline as it was Monday.
We were waiting for his result. Jigme is my nephew and he is seen as a good student who was once awarded the best students recognition at his tenth standard and also was well respected by the teachers and students on level of brilliance and for his good characteristics that adds to his personality. My expectation grew more, when I saw him attending the youth program outside the country at this small age, which meant, he was the best among others to be eligible to attend it. And hearing the good words of his class and subject teachers, it raised my level of expectation as he grew older and attended higher classes yearly.
January 30 (the day after), I was not willing to open my internet/Facebook page, as I was avoiding some chatting session with friends and being sure that, the result won't be declared on this day, as the BBE has said, it is not yet ready. So being certain, I just stayed in my university dormitory room relaxing and thinking of what my nephew will be doing later after the results. By that time, it was already 2:30 PM and thinking that, the unwanted chatting sessions won't happen, I just signed into my Facebook account and there I saw 1 message pending. Quickly, I opened, thinking, if it wasn't my wife saying some important message but it I saw my niece's message which says “ata's result is out … see more”. I can't wait to get the message open and when the message came out, my mouth got wide open and I felt a chill spill of water drop in the inner core of my spin and I can't believe in what I am seeing. The marks were too below from what I expected from him. Now, I have no body to share my sorrow, I spoke myself, what did I do to see the result from him with this low marks? No answer came to me. Later after few minutes, he came online on Facebook and was seeking an apology from me, dad, sister, mother and everybody. His only word he can write was, I could not make to your expectation and I too can't believe in my marks. Sorry for not fulfilling your expectation.
What shall I say now, scold him? Say harsh words? Show my anger? Noting was appropriate to answer him. He could not believe his marks too, his class mates are not trusting in his marks, his class teachers are checking his index number again and again and his subject teachers are all shocked by the result and every after an hour, I am checking the marks hoping for some miracle to happen and today, I lost all my hope and I fall down under the wrath of bad karma on my beloved nephew.
What went wrong? Did we not reach the expectation of lords to push his luck higher to score high or did I did expected a lot from him.
Other than these two questions, nothing more comes into my mind from the day I saw his result. But, thinking how many people would be going through this sort of felling from yesterday forces to boost my level of appetite and could manage to grasp some edible. Jigme is still not into food from yesterday.
Now, we are hoping for the best to come and preparing for the worst to happen.
I would be happy, if I was that flowing river,
No worry of hunger and thirst,
You are always happy and in peace without any worry in you.
I would be happy, if I was that rising sun,
No worry of parent and relatives,
You can watch and enjoy all over the universe.
I would be happy, if I was that blooming flower of that mountain,
Dressed beautifully in the best color,
You can then be the decorative offering for a holy temple.
I would be happy, if I was that monk who is in that cave,
Departed from bad home and searching good way,
You can devote your mind to the dharma.
I hate this karmic existence from the depth of my mind,
Worries if we have a lot and even though less,
And the mind is always full of worrisome every time.
Cc: Muensel, 1999
I was in class Eight (VIII) and she came with her sister and brother in-law, who were the teachers of our school to continue her studies in class Four (IV) and to also do the baby sitting for her sister after her classes. She was brought only after the mid exam breaks and became the students of the Nangkor High School with us.
I was 14 years old and she may be only 12 then (judging her body figure and height by recollecting her now) and we fell into the so called the phrase “lovers” in high school, where boys and girls would hesitantly be sitting near each other during the interval period and lunch break. The knot will be joined after sending few love letters and parcels which if the girls accepts means 'yes' and vice versa.
Her name was Karma Choden and her white complexion with a fat body figure was looking attractive and with a straight cut line hair on her forehead with half shown ear from nicely cut locks with a neck length hair gave her a additional beauty that she carry with her body figure and skin color. And, I being so attracted to her could not stop my guts to give her a short letter but by that time, the academic session was almost nearing the end and class VII and IX has already left the school for winter vacation and only class VIII was kept for the common exam. We being the first batch to start the school we 48 students were left in the big school campus finally.
Karma then must have accepted my letter and next day, through one of her friend, she had sent me a letter saying, I am love you. My brother seeing then I am afraid. Best of luck in your eggzam. And with the letter she had send to me a plastic full of dry fish curry wrapped in a rough paper. Extra classed were given to us keep the name of the school by the first batch but I would then pretend to fall sick to meet her. She would come near to my dormitory's window with her sister's baby tucked on her back and we just talked few things and she will then drop me some handmade chili pastes and then leave home.
Exams kept me busy for longer days and right after the exam, my elder sister came to pick me up to carry my wooden box and the camouflage army bedding pack to home. Now, I don't remember, meeting her again after seeing her near my dormitory's window and she too didn't turn up there, as she thought I was busy with the exam. Our short journey of getting into the love world, I think, seems ended too shortly and very briefly.
Now, I am still searching her. And, still the search is going on. I am trying into the facebook by her name to add her to my friend list, but the picture looks not like the face of her, though 15 years ago. Therefore, wherever you are, you are remembered by me as my first sight friend who was lovable. My instinct says, you are still on this earth but with a family by side.
They were admitted in their remote village school together as per the decision of each parent, so that they can walk towards the school as a friend and return back home together, as the path to the school passes through a small forest and also have a stream. A blue navy school dress gho was Dorji's first new piece of cloth that touched his skin after his birth, bought for him to join the school. Till that age, he has been wearing the second used cloths sent over by his relatives staying in the capital city. Peldon was from a rich family and new school dress wasn't a joyful cloth for her, as she has lots more in her wooden box. The first day of the schooling, their own parents holding the hand reached to the assembly line and waited till they both entered the classroom with all the new pre-primary students as their class mate for the year.
The classes were all passed with gaining of new and fresh knowledge and the recognition of alphabets was an amazing moment for them. On the way to home after the class, they would go together side by side through the path and sing the alphabet song, the teacher taught them and Peldon's sharp voice would then just envelop Dorji's husky tone. They were naughty and mischievous being a kid and would not miss a chance to steal the peaches and pears on the way home from the villages they pass through. Their parents were happy to see their son and daughter going to school and learning all lot, though few naughty. Moreover, Peldon was a competitor in the class to hold positions, where Dorji was just in the promoted list to next class. With few younger children joining the school from their village, they were then given the responsibility to take care of the small kid to reach to the school and bring home safely. Dorji was a kind hearted and also observant, he would not ever let any kids leave before everybody gathers at the school gate. Then they go home together leading the path by Peldon and him at the back making sure nobody is afraid.
Completing their common exam of sixth standard, they were then posted to a junior high school, a day away from home. Though, both were unhappy to leave home, they were at least happy because both will be together, though away from home. Their parents were more satisfied, as Dorji would take care of Peldon in any need, as they consider him always prepared to take any troubles and was found to be very care giving person. Year went by and with high competition with student from different schools posted with them; Peldon would then also managed to maintain his standard for holding a position and was a respected female student in the class. Weekends, they would sit on the side window of the classroom facing their village and see the changes of colors in their village as the season passed and would share their past memories of stealing fruits on their way home.
Local festival like, blessed rainy day, local tsehchu and the local deity ritual were what they missed a lot. During these days, they could see few flashes of light from their village, as villagers would be moving with the kerosene lit lantern and with the bamboo flints fire. Sometimes, they would hold their hands together sitting on the hilltop of the school compound and wished they had a wing to fly home and join their parents. Winter vacation would be their best days. Peldon's family being richer would invite Dorji with his parents to their house many times and they would get a chance to have a rice food. Nothing to bring from Dorji's home, his mother will then warp some dried radish from a hand woven basket in a torn plastic to give in return of the food, as a gratitude.
Going back to high school as they passed their junior level, they were then posted in a two different school, as their grade level was unequal. They would share to each other their current life in school by posting letter and then sent postcards to offer their prayer for the exams. During vacation they came together back in village and would be then staying together again. Departing to school back to continue their studies for their tenth standard, Peldon knew Dorji's incapability of qualifying to the next level and during her sending of wishes to him during his common exam, Peldon wrote : Dear Dorji,
Best of Luck in your Exams. & the next line it read was “I love you“.
They being a virtual marriageable cousin successfully got married after her completion of graduation. He was then in job after his training in junior engineer.
Nothing can stop the force of nature when they are at their anger and nor did my university could stand strong and upright when the water level at the surrounding area increased rapidly. On the morning of October 21, 2011 the flood water then entered the university campus and the water level were increasing gradually. Now, the left over students started to get panicked and they planned to go home immediately as they could afford it and to moreover help them, the offices of their respective embassies called them personally and were escorted safely but, few remained like a featherless hatching without its mother hen where water is covering almost all the dry area in the campus. We stayed seeking the roof under the university's care on whatever they give us as we could not afford to run away.
It was 6:30 PM autumn time and the sun by this time have passed its way through the western horizon and the dusk was approaching. Student were busy at the convention centre area, some planning to hitch the bus to the airport and to the embassies and some who are staying back to listen to the university president's speech on the plans as the water level were increasing and anything was seen impossible to stop the inflow. At 6:45 PM, the president declared evacuation plan and we were then directed to hitch the bus. As I looked among those feared faces, I could see some Pakistani, Afghan and few African people and among them was me.
It was 12:00 AM of October 22 when we reach the evacuation centre and as I had thought, we 7 had to share a room, where they had 2 double storied beds and three mattresses on the floor. We took the shelter as our second home, though tight, hot and humid. After having a brief diner at the street, we took the room as our safer home then. What sin had I done for this to happen on me? Is this torture testing me for getting this education? Many question struck in me and involuntarily I have to hide those red tear of my eye from others. No sleep and sweating from the thoughts all night I managed to pretended asleep. Then I got a call from my wife, asking had I safely reached there, but I could not speak as my throat was struck by those emotional tears and with a force inside me, I could say, Do not worry, I am safe here. Why not will she be worrying, when she is now a part of me, but to make her feel comfortable back at home, the answer, “I am well” was more than I could say that at the moment, but she won't believe that, I am well at this situation in an unknown evacuated place.
Morning sunlight came by and the university president called us for a forum. He believed our status and understood why we are still with the university, when everybody left. But what can he do than keeping us safer, but at the end of the speech, he just said, this evacuation place is a temporary place to let you decided and plan accordingly to make yourself get away from the flood. This was a hammer hit on my head. I was shattered again. Where and How to go next came filling inside me. Then, I talked with my fellowship to provide us some emergency fund but to my sheer unluckiness being poor, the fellowship gave a negative answer as they were too poorer. However, they agreed to pay the accommodation charge and let me stay in the city. I accepted it and went to the city to seek the refuge there but, to my horror I found all the food groceries empty and deserted. Flood warnings were all spread in the city and the city itself was preparing with sand bags. From frying pan to fire, it was getting worse and worse in every runaway I made from it.
Staying in an apartment for two days eating food from the street, life was not easy to live. Then, as a final step, my wife asked some money from her parents covering her shy face to rescue me from drowning in the flood water. She was ashamed, because instead of giving money to them, she was doing the opposite. Deciding to take the cheapest flight via India (Kolkatta) and then travel by bus to Phuntsholing and then to Thimphu I then took that way to be back home. It will take me 3 days to reach home, which if gone directly to Paro would take only 4 hours to reach. “Everything stops, when money stops moving”.