Articles by: loo2
As the breeze came wafting through spring turfs;
Blended with the melancholy melodies added by birds
Thoughts are clung there in green bower
Whole scenario drafted like the waves of the ocean.
As I walk slowly down with mellow spring sun
Lushly germination promises a utopian summer
But the journey seems hard with myriad audacity
Like a blooming bud wilts by blazing early summer sun.
As I come with many hopes and aspirations
They are just like a stray beacon at distant
Where I can see and sense but only at night
Solitude, caged, grim and only purpose like a beacon at distant.
As I sail through the vast clam ocean during full moon
I am struck at the same as I was before
The tide is high; the moon is full and gigantic
Sinking slowly like a Titanic did, scattering the hopes…
As I walk by the shore, I see myself
Frozen facial muscles, sad expression I can see
Wonder how the shore could read me, because
Ripples are paved with grief, I cause.
As I sit quietly with horde at the corner of class
I see the mates’ face light with glee, blended with joy and laugh
Uncomfortable around me may born if I live the way I lived
Why should I do that, my life is not theirs’, coz’ nothing can take away my pain.
“Life is the thread of experiences that we bind as we sit through the looms of diverse routines. Day-to-day struggles and triumphs are the twist of life experienced by all of the world’s creatures, whether or not they like. As human beings, able and sensible, we are licensed to choose and react to these challenges. Every decision that we make give way to a different nets of road. As expected, we will never come to exactly the same crossroads. Every decision that we take is weighed down with significance. Even the tiniest choice we make would make a world of difference, as more resolute the better”.
Some broken hearts never wake, where some silent minds never cheer. For last two and half decades, it has been very hard for me to choose any life-affirming path because every path kept preying on my mind. I tried my hardest to swallow a bitterness of my life and tried to fight back my tears to force to a smile. And I had been walking forward looking back since from a day I knew, how to save the memories but still the pain nailed deep in my heart refuse to ease off. I had been always hoping, keeping my finger crossed that one day there will be a footing for the better or normal life. But the past is so excruciating that I could not put on a brave face rather had the life to go on. Fears drain away whenever I thought of taking new turn for better life. It’s going to be another nail in my coffin as it keeps pricking my mind. For how long I have to go on through this thick and thin with the mere destination, will I reach there? As my hopes, determinations and willingness are retiring to grow fainter.
As any young man or child did for the urge to succeed in life, I jog my fading memory and thinking about the future is strange, it dragoons me into thinking hard about the give of life at this moment. Yet I am young and I have a dream. But I remained silent; my dream is not cocooned from dreaming, it’s in my earshot and at heart. Fear gripped me, making any dream and hope retreat into its shell, and knots in the throat like cannon ball in the pit of my tummy, ready to propel and leaving no trace of life that was once burning looked forward to. My strength to brave life or utopian future seems to seep away with each breath I draw in.
Life isn’t as simple as I thought and as beautiful as I wished rather it is very hard for the common person like me. I know that some are even worse than me, sorry for them but I know the pain as I have walked through the path they walked and for those who have better life, may they always live happily ever after. The every breath I take and every heartbeat I feel is swallowed up by the fears which are said to be the supply of sorrows, thinking that my day of the life may collapse. How hard I try to pave the ways for the better life, they are only meant to go to the wall at the end of the day.
Each day I live, pain consumes me and rubs salt into the wound, and, to crown it all, makes me fall down and sink into the depression. I try to prove my stand; still I am drowned in the ocean of deep sorrow as I see the life is just a receptacle of everything – seeds of our own makings. I walk, but there is no path. I live, but I am not among the living. As I sail through the vast unseen life with holes in the bottom of my heart, I am struck. My life is making a failing exhibition of myself before others very eyes; I cry out in pained petition, but to no avail- no one waits for me. I try to pin my hopes on erasing pain, but the effort looks to fall, train of heavy thoughts race through my mind and eat me away every moment. I see death is only the way though it’s not the way to sort out since no one could ever understand why I want it sooner than someone planned, the thing is I only want to end it today, actually it’s not something I want for me but to be a better man from tomorrow.
It is neither time that changes man, nor knowledge, the only thing that can change someone’s mind is ‘LOVE’. And the most important things are the hardest things to say, these are the things we get ashamed of, because words diminish them. The mind has thousand eye and the heart but one, yet the light of a whole life dies when love is done. It’s paradoxical to see a person falling in someone at the very first sight, becoming infatuated, and feels ‘love is blind’.
I remember when my heart was clear and free, where I didn’t believe in life after love and knew love is one big figment of imagination for mankind, I have tried to forget but there is something strange left in my head.
The day was beautiful, sky creamed with cumulus clouds and birds added the melodies of spring. As I walk to and fro in room, a small world of three guys. I am completely lost how the feeling came over me and the sweetest attraction that made my heart has ever seen.
It was some years back in high school, one fine day how I encountered a damsel with an enchanting face of sky colored eyes and rose-red lips that really enthralled me with the rose in my hand, and at the very first sight, I fell in love. Being in love with a girl was without a doubt the strangest thing I’d ever been through. Not only was she a girl that I’d never thought of before even though we’d never met but there was something that made my feelings for her unfolded.
The girl is known with her academic performance, always topped the class and she was my classmate too. I never had guts to face and talk with her, and sometimes when our eyes accidentally met, I blushed and then pretended it never happened and it was not going to happen again.
‘Oh, is there a magic in your smile that takes me under’, I thought.
Once I screwed up all my courage and confident to propose to her and said ‘Pema, I love you with all my heart’.
She refused my offer out of hand and broke my heart into painful pieces. Her silence was the answer for the rest of the day. I tried to change my expression, but my facial muscles were frozen. I wanted to keep looking at her and never wanted to take eyes from her, but still had to lower it. Something stirred deep in my gut, shapeless thing that was going to fly into throat and make me forlorn and cry.
And it is 7:30pm, time for dinner, as I walk toward the dining hall like the waft breeze in thicken climes and starry evening with roommates. Everything about her hair, eyes, voice, smile and personality is utterly captivating to me, and I feel like drowning in the sea of my emotion.
The excruciating and hardest thing for my eyes to believe it or not was when the person I love was with someone else. It crashed my world, scattered the dreams of castles in air and chaotic destiny I would never have thought of.
Falling in love is the highest degree of excitement but to feel the taste of love is the other side of the coin. In all my life, never had I melted to that plight.
In the name of god, I shed tears to thee
Don’t deny me and if you are hushed
I shall bury down to the pit like rest
I stand there in petition
To seek is to love you
And love you but forever
Like any young men ever did
No matter, how many times I have hardened myself
But still you melt me with thy smile
No matter, how long it hurts
But I feel ‘I love you still’
As the days dragged towards the month and then to year, everyone was preparing for exam, the final dance of the year and still I had one last wish, to greet her for the exam and then ask for my proposal’s reply. Instead she denied and said ‘forget it, past is pass and let’s be good friends forever’.
Still in these days I have never understood her, she spurned my devotion with one hand and with the other she offered friendship.
Across odyssey of heart
I wrote no thoughts are far
But the love came by
And I entered every where
And came at nowhere………..
Though I refused to end in this way yet I am happy and I feel content, one happiest day is almost miracle.