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Articles by: Tenday

Changing thoughts of our young educated Bhutanese women

17 Nov 2008 Author Tenday
Becoming a mom is a wonderful experience in life, too precious to be disrupted by office works on one hand and lack of baby sitters on the other. However, these days, our young educated Bhutanese women prefer to marry late or stay single throughout or follow the DINK-‘Dual income, no kid’ policy.
 
Giving birth in today’s world is not easy. Firstly, one has to worry about the financial implications with the prices of almost every goods soaring high. Secondly, getting a good baby sitter is very difficult. There are many incidences and stories about baby sitters. Moreover, working mothers have tough time balancing between their office works and taking care of their babies.
 
Today’s children feel the pain of those mothers who baby sit. They have taken care of us till now and therefore, it should be our turn to take care of them. However, sometimes, we cannot help it. These days, some mothers have to baby sit their grand children whether they like it or not. Taking care and feeding of children is not an easy task. They are handful especially when they are about to crawl or walk. But again, more thanks to them. They are angels.
 
Unfortunately, we still do not have old age home in the country. If there are any, there would be many women who would want to be single. We would like to earn and save how much ever we can and after we retire, go on for a holiday in India, Bangkok or Nepal before we retire peacefully into an old age home.

Rendezvous with my future mother-in-law

17 Nov 2008 Author Tenday
“Hey dear, today is a good day. My mother is asking you to come for lunch”, said my boy friend over the phone at around 8 A.M. in the morning. “No, no…please don’t ask me to do that. I am…I am…not ready”, I blurted back. “Come on dear, don’t say that. I already said okay to my mother. So be ready at 1 P.M., I will come to pick you up”.
 
No sooner than I got that call, I started getting jittery and even started having cold feet because I always dreaded this moment, my first rendezvous with my future mother-in-law. I felt like my unattached world was coming to a big end. Even time was slipping faster than usual. So many questions ran through my head. Am I taking the right step? Where is my life heading to? Will they accept me as I am? What all things they would ask me?  I thought if my strong friend got so nervous (once I accompanied my strong friend when she had an appointment with her future in-laws for the first time. She was very nervous which was so unlike her), I will be dead. Poor Girls…
 
The clock strikes 1 p.m. but my boyfriend didn’t turn up. I wanted be there at 1 because first impression is, sometimes, the last impression and I wanted to impress her on my punctuality. But he was late by almost 30 minutes and came around 1.30 p.m. So, with all the guts I could gather, I went with my boyfriend to his place. His mother offered us tea and snacks. I could see my tea getting cold as I couldn’t touch it. I was taking deep breaths (a tip I got from one of my friends). Still I couldn’t relax. Then she brought us lunch, which I didn’t feel the taste of it. I don’t know how I gulped down what seemed like a mountain full of rice. 
 
Now the question answer session began. She started so coolly. “I know….you and my son’s getting together is because of fate. But you see… I have got so many marriage proposals for him. Some from good family and some from the people I know very well. But he doesn’t agree to what I say”. I was stumped and didn’t know how to react. I kept silent. Then she went on…by the way, where does your relationship with him stands? Does your parent know about it? Are you planning to marry him? I gaped. Don’t your parents stay with you? I didn’t answer anything. I just kept silent which I am very good at. I just didn’t want to answer. I didn’t know why? May be I was still recovering from her first statement’s blow. I might have sounded stupid as well as like a dummy. My nervousness got the better of me when my future mother-in law’s anger got the better of her. But I m sure she understood me because I understood her. I looked up at the wall clock. It was about to strike 2. Thank god, I said to myself as I got up saying I have to get back to the office on time. Deep inside I thank him for being late for the appointment. Otherwise, I would have made my mother-in-law very, very furious. I know my friend understands my nature. He understands his mother’s nature as well. No wonder he deliberately came late to fetch me.   
 
So, we excused ourselves. However, while we were getting ready to go, she told me to visit her place again.

A Reflection of a Naked Face

30 Apr 2008 Author Tenday

Along with the changing time, human nature is also changing. I sit near my computer contemplating on how artificial most of the things are. If I am granted a wish to do something, I would definitely wish to put a ban on all artificialities. But since I m just a beggar, I cannot do anything but to quietly contemplate on it.

 

Since I joined my working world, I have learnt so many things. Of all the things, one thing that I learnt greatly is the need to be artificial, superficial and cunning. If I don’t have the ability to learn this, I should at least be bit outspoken and very talkative. Surely, there is honor in being talkative as Luzee has rightly put it. However, that is not my trade and I fail miserably in this.

 

I have also learnt that my social life, which is also a part and parcel of working life, has a very important role to play. Even here, I fail because I don’t socialize too much in the sense that I don’t participate in every occasion that props up. Just for the sake of being an unknown citizen, I used to do that until recently I realized that a simple man’s occasion is not an occasion for the world that I work in. This left me realizing how hypocrite a world that I work in is.

 

Infact, I get to learn every now and then. For the last few months, I have learnt how determined and selfish I can be not to have let go of my boyfriend despite the girl who wants him and him only told me directly as well as indirectly. Familiarity indeed breeds contempt.

 

In additions to above things, I have learnt also beautiful things. Artificial things are near to godliness and social life revitalizes working life.

Life’s evil reflection

22 Jan 2008 Author Tenday

Browsing Hi5.com, to catch up with old friends and also to make new friends, has become Sonam’s habit. She does that whenever she gets bored and whenever she is free. And she was doing the same thing yesterday again. But surprisingly, she came across her boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend’s picture, looking so sweet and innocent. She does not know why but that particular innocent pose made her feel guilty and uncomfortable. Is she feeling inferior? Is she feeling guilty or is she jealous? It has to be one of those reasons!

 

She met her friend Paljor at the time when he was having hard time getting over from his break-up with his ex-girl friend. She knew it why and how their break-up happened and she sure was not its cause. She met him only few months after that incident, which means, there is no reason why she should feel guilty.

 

Ok, now coming to feeling inferior, she told her friend to go back to his ex-love at the beginning of their relationship. But he put it off saying “A dried loo will start to smell if he touches it”, meaning its better for both of them not to look back but go ahead with their respective lives. She failed it despite her continuous efforts and reminders. 

 

Yes, she could be jealous because despite him being her boy friend, she cannot feel his warmth and love towards her. Most of the time, he is lost in his past thoughts. She understood his aloofness in the beginning and she tried many things to make him forget his past to the extent of losing her life’s principles. However, as Sidney Sheldon wrote, ‘You fall in love only once, that last, that endures…..for a life time”. She knows that no matter how much he loved her, it’s not in him to ever forget his first love. The only thing she could do is ask him to leave her and return to where he belongs.

 

Now what about her feelings? For her, he is her first love and most probably the last too. But if ever she gets into a relationship, she would do the same thing to that unlucky person. Not that she wants to but it will be somehow like that. Oh, life! life! 

Mr. Jambay’s Story

30 Dec 2007 Author Tenday

This happened to Mr. Jambay while he was doing some shopping in our neighboring town Jaigon. 

It was during one of the winter breaks (to be little precise, I think it was in the year 2001) and Mr. Jambay went to do some shopping in Jaigon. Suddenly, a man came running to him and said, “You are my sister’s husband, Hem Gurung. Where have you been? I have been looking for you. You have to come quickly with me. If not, my sister will die.” He began to drag Jambay. Jambay tried hard to make the man understand that he was mistaking him. He persuaded that he was not the person that man was looking for. He said his name is not Hem but Jambay from Trashigang, Bhutan. The man did not believe him. In fact, he accused Jambay saying he was trying to fool him and planning to run away from his sister. Despite his hard resistance, the man and his friends dragged Jambay to a nearby place and took him to a house. There, they tied him with robe and left him in the corner of an empty room. Jambay tried with all his efforts to untie the robe but he was not successful.
 
By then, the night fell and it was completely dark outside. He could only hear some murmuring sound and periodic praying by Muslim people. He stood in a corner of the room for few hours reckoning what to do next.  Suddenly, he remembered a story of a frog trying to jump out of a deep well. He kept on trying to untie the rope and alas! he could break himself free. He slowly opened a window and jumped out of it. Bang! He fell on the hard ground.  He opened his eyes and he found himself on the floor of his bed room. Actually, he fell from his bed and that incident happened in his dream!!!
 
Courtesy: Mr. Jambay, presently working in MoA.

A simple new year wish to all the Nopkin members

28 Dec 2007 Author Tenday
The New Year is around the corner
Bringing up beautiful dreams
Unfurling fresh hopes
We just wonder what the coming year holds!

My wish to you all (Nopkin members) is simple

May you all be happy
Your dreams fulfilled, Life well lived
And love achieved
 
Be with the people you love
Enjoy the day
Spread love and kindness
To make it even more special on that day
 
Wish you each and every one a very happy new year!
 

A hard time in the UK

25 Dec 2007 Author Tenday

An officer stationed in Zhemgang was having a phone conversation with his friend.

He said,” You know, I just came back from the UK”.

 
“Oh, wow! Really?” replied his surprised friend. “How is UK and how was your stay there?”
 
“Please don’t ask. I had a difficult time. But it was a different experience then” “You know, I had a hard time pulling leeches off from my skin”, he added.
 
“Hey, leeches in the UK! I never heard of it” His friend got even more stunned.
 
“Yeah, there are infact many of them. Some big and fat ones, some small and tiny ones.”
 
His friend kept silent for few seconds and finally asked, “Ok, but I am sure those leeches must be different from those found in some parts of Bhutan.”
 
“Not really, they are similar. Oh, i just don’t know how the people of Upper Kheng (UK) deal with those leeches!” he finally said.

An onion joke

25 Dec 2007 Author Tenday

Once, during the time of our third king, a Dzongpon and his men went trekking in the China-Bhutan border area. The Dzonpon was pleased with the way those armies (border-guards) received and treated him. So, in order to show his gratitude towards them, he asked “Choe chachab, gop, chagop, gachi ya mee ga?” (Do you guys need or require anything?”)

One lhotsampa army stood up and said. “Gop, cha gop dee na lu mee thob la. La Gop cham chi thob la.” (Gop=onion, Cha gop=garlic, La gop=wild onion found in high land)

A morning journey from Khasadrapchu to Thimphu.

10 Dec 2007 Author Tenday

Waking up early and leaving behind a warm bed at this time of year is just too unbearable for me. But duty is duty and one cannot stay cuddling up all day long in bed. I have to earn to eat, dress and live.

So reluctantly, I leave my warm bed at 6 a.m.  First thing I do is make a fire in Bhukhari to heat water to splash it on my face. After saying a brief prayer, I prepare breakfast and do whatever is required out of me so long I have enough time before I start my journey to Thimphu.

Along the way, I can see the students walking to their respective schools, almost conked out due to cold. They walk with their hands hidden in the gho like a penguin, and their nose and cheeks all red. Some walk in cold weather for almost four kilometers. I say to myself ‘a cold walk to education’ inspired by a documentary titled “A walk to education”
 
When I reach Babesa express way, the scenario is little different. By then, the sun appears giving out warm rays. There, I meet with many posh cars coming to drop their children to schools. The choices of vehicle to reach them are many; from posh foreign cars to Indian cars to taxis to city buses.
 
I reach office at around 8. 30 a.m. But I am still thinking and contemplating on the different type of lives lived by our young students to acquire education as seen along the way from Khasadrpachu to Thimphu.
 
The cost of acquiring an education is not same for all the students. Neither their achievements are. This is Karma and this is karmic life!

Romantic conversation with not-so-romantic boyfriend

30 Nov 2007 Author Tenday

This happened to one of my friends while she was was pursuing her masters abroad. My friend, in order to make the conversation with her boyfriend as romantic and beautiful as it can be, wrote those romantic stuffs like looking at the moon and seeing his face, dreaming about thier future together, dreaming about walking hand in hand with him along the beach,  going for a long drive in the moonlit night with soft music playing, thinking about him everytime and missing him every bit of moment.

To this… u know what her boyfriend wrote!!. He wrote, "dont think of me but think about Guru Rinpoche".

Changing Thoughts changing with Changing Times

23 Nov 2007 Author Tenday

When Sonam was a little girl, she always thought she would marry the first guy she meets in her life. But when she reached her teens, she broadened her thinking little bit for she understood that it was ok to go for a second if the relationship with first one doesn’t work out well, that is, as long as the girl remains a virgin. She crossed her teens and then she didn’t care how many boy friends a girl changes and that too for as long as they didn’t spent a night together. By then living together kind of relationship was not uncommon. And so when she met her first boyfriend, she got very scared when he first asked her to spend a night with him.

 

She refused so many times because she had many fears as well as so many ‘what if (s)’. She was more worried about what the society might say about her if they finds out. But after being in a relationship for a year, she finally agreed to sleep with him. For few months, it haunted her and she began to worry even more and always said to herself that she should marry him and him only, by any means and no matter what. They are in the relationship for two years and they are still not married to each other. But one interesting thing was that she does not have that kind of fear any longer. Rather, she is able to say what if this relationship doesn’t work out well, she won’t have a hesitation to go for a second and then third, forth and so on. She does not care about anyone. But what has become to her principle in life? What about her morality? And most importantly, where is the civility?  

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