How can I say sorry?
Let me say these few things to you. I don’t know whether you would care to read this or not! But I would love it if you just travel through my thoughts, in fact my feelings, for a minute or so.
I love you truly but there are thousand reasons why I am leaving you. You were good to me. Really good. Though you weren’t my first love, you stole away my heart and still it rests in you. It is too hard to take away yet I have to do it. How bad I am? I know, withdrawing an axe from a wounded heart after a long time is more painful than the initial cut. But there is no way I should be continuing as situations are not suitable. I regret for not realizing it before. I am too stupid. At first, I just meant to love you and never wanted you to love me back. But things happened in a way I never desired. It’s all due to my selfish, self-centered and ego mind. When I just decide things to go it in a normal way, I don’t get that line to say “SORRY”. In fact, I deserve to be hanged! Really!
As our secret journey started, you made me feel so cool. You showed me the beautiful part of life and made me feel humble ever. The finest character of a woman that you bear made me go even madder. You even introduced me to some of the finest people on earth and led me towards a brighter side of living; though due to my ignorance and ill-mindedness I couldn’t follow the daily practice seriously. But I bet you, I will always strive to be serious once I am little free. Here again, I deserve the world’s biggest sin.
I never thought my journey of love to you would travel to such a peak until I realized that the things are getting too serious. It was traveling beyond the line of secrecy. The wind of disclosure was blowing faster. This filthy man, bearing the heart of a coward couldn’t handle it rather than to leave! You have your own family and so do I. Why did I do that? Still, you hold a special place in my heart. You do it in a beautiful way. Remember! I just leave but won’t forget! The dilemma I face killed me more than ever. The beautiful moments of sharing the place together to have those silly lunches, walking together along those junctions and eating out those small snacks are yet too fresh in my mind. This time, I don’t deserve even the slightest forgiveness.
As I still love you, and with that in mind, I promise we can still walk together, jog together, share our thoughts, gather, drink together, celebrate together, walk hand in hand (if only you and me), and keep things going the same way as before. I know I did a wrong thing, but I can’t lose you to just walk away and forget me. At least, I want you around me so that, silently, I can enjoy the beauty of my finest woman ever encountered in my life……… So SORRY, I walked away! But I hold you still!!!