It is neither time that changes man, nor knowledge, the only thing that can change someone’s mind is ‘LOVE’. And the most important things are the hardest things to say, these are the things we get ashamed of, because words diminish them. The mind has thousand eye and the heart but one, yet the light of a whole life dies when love is done. It’s paradoxical to see a person falling in someone at the very first sight, becoming infatuated, and feels ‘love is blind’.
I remember when my heart was clear and free, where I didn’t believe in life after love and knew love is one big figment of imagination for mankind, I have tried to forget but there is something strange left in my head.
The day was beautiful, sky creamed with cumulus clouds and birds added the melodies of spring. As I walk to and fro in room, a small world of three guys. I am completely lost how the feeling came over me and the sweetest attraction that made my heart has ever seen.
It was some years back in high school, one fine day how I encountered a damsel with an enchanting face of sky colored eyes and rose-red lips that really enthralled me with the rose in my hand, and at the very first sight, I fell in love. Being in love with a girl was without a doubt the strangest thing I’d ever been through. Not only was she a girl that I’d never thought of before even though we’d never met but there was something that made my feelings for her unfolded.
The girl is known with her academic performance, always topped the class and she was my classmate too. I never had guts to face and talk with her, and sometimes when our eyes accidentally met, I blushed and then pretended it never happened and it was not going to happen again.
‘Oh, is there a magic in your smile that takes me under’, I thought.
Once I screwed up all my courage and confident to propose to her and said ‘Pema, I love you with all my heart’.
She refused my offer out of hand and broke my heart into painful pieces. Her silence was the answer for the rest of the day. I tried to change my expression, but my facial muscles were frozen. I wanted to keep looking at her and never wanted to take eyes from her, but still had to lower it. Something stirred deep in my gut, shapeless thing that was going to fly into throat and make me forlorn and cry.
And it is 7:30pm, time for dinner, as I walk toward the dining hall like the waft breeze in thicken climes and starry evening with roommates. Everything about her hair, eyes, voice, smile and personality is utterly captivating to me, and I feel like drowning in the sea of my emotion.
The excruciating and hardest thing for my eyes to believe it or not was when the person I love was with someone else. It crashed my world, scattered the dreams of castles in air and chaotic destiny I would never have thought of.
Falling in love is the highest degree of excitement but to feel the taste of love is the other side of the coin. In all my life, never had I melted to that plight.
In the name of god, I shed tears to thee
Don’t deny me and if you are hushed
I shall bury down to the pit like rest
I stand there in petition
To seek is to love you
And love you but forever
Like any young men ever did
No matter, how many times I have hardened myself
But still you melt me with thy smile
No matter, how long it hurts
But I feel ‘I love you still’
As the days dragged towards the month and then to year, everyone was preparing for exam, the final dance of the year and still I had one last wish, to greet her for the exam and then ask for my proposal’s reply. Instead she denied and said ‘forget it, past is pass and let’s be good friends forever’.
Still in these days I have never understood her, she spurned my devotion with one hand and with the other she offered friendship.
Across odyssey of heart
I wrote no thoughts are far
But the love came by
And I entered every where
And came at nowhere………..
Though I refused to end in this way yet I am happy and I feel content, one happiest day is almost miracle.