Marriage in the Prospects of Commitment
“Luzee, I am running away from my husband, tell me what to do next!” my High School Best Friend caught me off-guarded: I was on my way to the east. She married her long-term boyfriend for three years and I was made to think they were ‘happily married’.
I said, “Stupid, go back and laugh over the matter.” Later that evening, she updated, “You were right. We laughed over the matter and now he is cooking dinner for us.” I smiled.
I am no marriage counselor but often I land up as one. When we discovered one of our uncles had an affair for more than three years, my Aunt went insane and unforgivable. By virtue of working in the same office, I was subject to untimely surveillance over her husband. Often, she cried on phone and I would stand at the other end, counseling her as if I knew too much.
Well, it sickens me to think facing any of these dilemmas and situations and it will equally sicken me to imagine myself undergoing any of the matter.
I can be wrong but I feel marriage is the commitment that two hearts vow to cover the rest of the distance together. It is that meaning you finally sought to define your life and it also means you choose that person as your life-time partner.
After a week, I visited the same friend at Paro. She hadn’t unpacked the neatly wrapped rug-sack with which she intended to run away. I asked, “Are you planning more of your poor tactics?” and she said, “Emergency can be any time.” But, she told me something I thought I had to learn.
As High School girls, we sat in the shadow of our class building, dreaming of the kind of ‘adult’ life we would lead. We drew criteria for the kind of men we wanted to marry and have kids with.
“He should be qualified equally, if not more!” I would state. “Yes, and he should be taller,” she would chip in. Our list was ever to be lengthened every afternoon we lunched.
“You know Luzee, all those standards are baseless now,” she told me while crunching the finger chips she roasted. I nodded in confusion. “I mean, what we thought about our men. My husband doesn’t fulfill even one criterion…wait, he does one – He plays guitar! That means he will play guitar for me through out our days.” Her naughty smile surrendered my agreement.
That is the point. When you accept someone despite all the set-backs and short-comings, you accept sensing the person to be of capability to help you lead the rest of your life. You choose that person amongst many and commit to see the best in him/her.
That is why I am never made to quench my search for the reason of betrayal and third person in marriage.
[Note: With this thought, the author wishes everyone a Very Happy New Year 2008 and the same shall decide to take a commercial break for a month, subject to no reason whatsoever!]