My love, still alive!!!!
Yes, I walked away and it’s true. I kept silence, tried to close my eyes and pretended to be bold enough. It’s even true. Why? Because the reason I do such might be of much weight-age rather than continuing with my own self-centered extra marital life. I can understand the intensity of pain that you’re bearing as more pain is in my heart. The day I decided myself that I would walk away from you till today, the trauma of leaving you kills me the most. All the time I smile and pretend everything to be okay; hold back my tears and pain. In reality, my love for you never ends. I know, and it’s true that the worst mistake I am committing is to walk away from you; you who actually stood there and waited for me.
The biggest challenge in me now is how to make you understand. How to let you know why I walked away? Dear, it’s not coz I don’t love you. It’s neither you hated me nor I. it’s not coz loving you is not worth it. It’s not coz someone more dear than you came in my life. It’s not coz the distance hampered the degree of my feeling for you. I always appreciate your absence which makes me think of you more. The reasons are far beyond. We may not know or realize the importance of people associated with you for a longer span of time unless they try to cheat you. Having had the extreme experience and understanding those people who had similar problems, I bit my lips to decide and walk away before things get too serious.
My dear, you have a lovely family. I have my own. In due course of time what I learned is, little problems are always associated within our own family. They are part and parcel of life as life itself isn’t certain. Keeping such in mind, cheating doesn’t justify to the family members that you and I have. Nor it would solve the problem. Rather, our secret relation would worsen and ruin the situation. That is the biggest fear that I bore. Why? Coz we have to be fit in society. People around have trusted me and still they do. Therefore, I can’t be selfish enough to ruin them, hurt their sentiments and betray them. It’s rather I suffer to walk away from you. In doing so, once again I would like to say that the pain in you is understood. Come on dear, do you like to be a black sheep in a family? Would you be happy in a situation of people blaming you for leaving your own life partner? Most importantly, can you betray your life partner?
Dear, I still love you so much. That is the reason why I can’t withstand without kissing you the moment I am next to you. The warmth of being next to you is still amazing. The glorious and fine characters in you still kill me and make me mad. But what can I do rather than to walk away silently holding my heart. Even to mention about walking away in articles, my heart beats abnormally but there is no way I should be selfish. I equally respect your family. They trust and respect me so much. I can’t hurt them anymore. I want them to continue the situation normally. I can’t be a stone hitting the hump of bees. You clearly said once that “You would hate me if I treated the way you treated me”. I totally agree with you. Now, I frankly say, I don’t mind even if you hate me as it’s me who should be blamed. Me! Useless and coward creature on this filthy earth deserves to be shot, deserves to be hanged and made to torture the whole life for disturbing your good sentiments.
Having said much nonsense, I repeat: I am not walking away coz I don’t love you anymore! I am biting my lips to walk away for the continuity of the peaceful situation within your family and mine, for the well being of your successful married life and to prevent from chaos of walking into the dirty courts, which I always hate!!!!!!!!!!!!