My silent wish
I grew up comforting myself that when I grow up everything will turn out good and my life will be like any other successful being I see around in my neighborhood but one mistake and my total life changed. It was my second year in college and I was way too grown up for my age I guess, but back in those days I used to call it love-true love. I gave myself totally to him knowing that he too was doing the same but one day, holding the test kit showing two red stripes, I ran to wake him with the good news. I knew he would be crazy with happiness. I saw him sleeping, his lips slightly parted as if asking me about the result; we had shared this same room for five months and dreamt a life of bountiful success with kids dangling all over us. But my enthusiasm was splashed to death by his cold glare in response to my news before breakfast. He picked up his jeans and left me wondering did I commit any mistake. As I saw him entering the bathroom and when the room closed after him, the shadow it cast on me was ominous of my days that were to follow. He started shunning me from his life and forced me to pack my belongings and return home to the sanctuary of my parents' home where I met more anger n stern looks.
Today, I sleep with my three year old daughter in my lap, with my old class photo in my hand reminding me of the days that I could have changed my fate but fate changed my life before I could do anything. Now I'm a mother of a daughter who calls me ANA; for my little angel my parents are her dad and mom and I am her elder sister. She kisses me and hugs me but I know it is not the same feelings that she gives to her ama, my mom actually.
I sleep with her, hoping that she would feel my heartbeat and know that it is the same that she listened to for nine whole months and I long for that moment to tell the world that I am her mom and not her sister.