Articles by: kuenza
I haven’t written to L asking her permission to use a piece of her writing here. I am going through her story right now and I just couldn’t help laughing myself, remembering those old days:
People were genuine and honest, save some who pounded on foreigners. Like, when we first entered College, the auto driver robbed us 70 bucks! The normal rate was just 35. The chance of any argument was slim since these people knew we were new to the place.
Even an hotelier charged us 260 rupees for 5-hours sleep in a room fit for one and we were six. I still remember how Jigme slept on the piles of suitcase. The small bed had uneven stands and it rose from the other end when stepped on one end. With no bath for the last 36 hours, save the drops of sweats running down the skin, we were so desperate to jump into a pool of chill water. It was late summer but the heat still burnt. Guess us! The hotel had no decent bathroom and the bucket in the room smelt of saline water, it was embedded with rusty accumulation. The choice was either to remain unclean or manage few drabs. We chose the latter.
One funny incident I must not miss. Our names are the hardest to be pronounced by people there. When we checked into the hotel, the manager, a man in late sixties asked one of our names. Balu, our friend gave his nick.
“Name?” the manager alerted through his tiny spectacles. His bald head looked tempting to give a hit.
“Balu.” Our friend was serious. We smirked behind him.
“Dorji.” His answer was abrupt. But lo! The man wrote as “Gorji.” The sound of that huge laughter still rings in my ears each time I recollect how we sneaked in making total fool of that old man.
Similarly, one of our sirs could not get Kuenza’s name correct through out the days, he kept calling her “Kuen- Yang!” (One Love Story, Luzee)
I’m sorry L, but I just couldn’t help laughing over those incidents. Add more of the funny incidents here….I’m sure nopkin users will enjoy them too.
They were both married. They both had children. But they were both lonely and alone.
In the world where morality played a giant role, they didn’t know where they should go and how. They felt a strange attraction, the minute they set their eyes on each other. The attraction was strange, because, neither thought that they would finally be falling for someone after all the long years of happy marriage and their beautiful son and daughter. Maybe fate meant good…but they were frozen in time and they couldn’t dig a tunnel to make a different way for themselves. Couldn’t they really do it if they wanted? But again, there was this morality popping in their mind.
The few times they talked on the phone, they always had so much to share and it wasn’t enough. It was as if fate meant to torture them. And they thought, nothing in the world was impossible. But how could they break the wall of marriage that has thickened with long years? They had their son and daughter to think of on the one hand and their reputation on the other. You often say it doesn’t matter what others tell you or think of you – you have your own life and all that matters to you is yourself. But it is wrong. More often than you would like to admit, you are governed by the way people see you. Even stronger than the thickened marriage wall was the reputation they had set in the society. No one would believe if they were to leave everything they had ever done in their life and start new with each other. It might not be a beautiful new beginning.
Thousands of thoughts ran in their minds. But in their hearts no one dwelled but each other. Who should they blame and why? What path should they choose? Would loving each other silently from the other side of the river enough? They would definitely see the shadow but they couldn’t touch it, could they?
First, we have this rule of ban of using plastics. It has now been there for many years but I’m sure all of you see people using it. It isn’t very worse and I won’t say much on it.
But look at those people smoking in all the public places. It is in fact a shame! We have made headlines that our country has banned smoking and, ironically, you see people smoking at bus stations, in hotels, in offices…you name it. There they go – with some kind of an utter expression, they take a puff and let out the smoke, not really knowing that there are also people who hate smokes piercing their nostrils.
I guess, young people get a hang of some big-ness out of it. They feel matured. They feel themselves a little on the higher realm than those who are humble. I wonder in whose hand it is to educate them. I personally feel that it is the failure of parents if their children don’t know the meaning of what they are doing. Isn’t it in their hands to teach them the right from wrong? Oh man. Won’t you agree that people who smoke always raise their chin with some condescending looks? This is how I see them. I know they have the right to pose the way they want, but I also know that I have the right to see them the way I do. Hehe…
Where do you see the effect of ban of smoking? The smoke circulates around everywhere in Bhutan and you won’t see a single person who has stopped smoking for this reason. On the contrary, there has been a rise in this black business because of this sheer reason. It is a bigger irony. Nopkin.com uers, I would love to hear stories of you educating your brothers and sisters, your family and friends. Why not make ourselves less of hypocrite? I’m sure you won’t want an outsider asking you why she/he sees people smoking everywhere.
(This is something I wrote last year when the debate was flaring hot on it)
Ages ago, this very word would have had no effect, not because it did not mean anything to the lot of women but because, then, it was used for a different meaning. ‘Amsu Morem’ meant those women who were bereaved of their husbands and had no male figure who could help them to stand at the same height as others.
Therefore, they were exempted from certain taxes. It wasn’t used to make derogatory remarks on women as many a man use today. Today, this word is heard either to make a comparison or to tell someone how unworthy and un-smart he is. When this very word was heard in the 85th National Assembly, the highest legislative body of the country, it very obviously was used to mean that women aren’t at par with men. Now where does that take us?
The person who spoke it might not have meant it as it was heard by the public but couldn’t he have thought of the uproar it would cause, this age being not the age of old generation? I cannot argue that it would have a very great effect on the current gender issues but it would not die off silently because women country-wide heard it and it would have set something like, aren’t we all equal? in their minds and it would not just go off like nothing happened. We cannot pretend such things to have not happened at all.
If women can fight for the issues like why they are not allowed to go into a ‘Goenkhang’, I can’t imagine why they wouldn’t pick on the word that very clearly said something low of them. You bet, it wouldn’t hurt them, if it held the same meaning it once did – a long time ago. But then, can’t everyone see, it now means women are the weaker sex? Time hasn’t remained still – it hasn’t grown backward. It has developed to a stage where men and women could be responsible equally for same kind of works. Today, we no longer have those remarkable demarcations where women can’t do what men can – though, it still is true in villages. But, women so far has not backed off from men. They have always stood as tall as men and they haven’t been defeated. If it were to do something with physical feat, then women might not equal men but so long as the world has something to do with brain, women would stand just as men do.
Lucky that it was in Bhutan. If it were in some other developed countries, that remark would not have escaped rough repercussion. Women in Bhutan are mild and gentle but men cannot see this as a weakness. They cannot think that they can forever go on pulling the rim of their feelings. Everyone can tolerate only too far.
Amsu Morem – this is equivalent term of a widow. This is only a term, a noun that was referred to those women who lost their husbands. There is no reason why we should curb its meaning to tell that women are inferior or weaker, because it just isn’t the meaning. If men go on using this term to their liking to make a comparison between the two genders, then it really would become a topic in the gender issues. Why not?
I’m sitting here, racking my brain. Thinking, there has to be a way to know myself. I have been sitting still for around half an hour…trying to act wise. Trying to understand…trying to reason.
I had so many experiences to just deny the truth. I owe myself the answer. Don’t call me a philosopher or that I’m trying to philosophize over nothing. It’s just an attempt, where I mean harm to no one. It’s just a desire of a sort.
Many a time, we find ourselves confronted by the most unlikely questions and we find ourselves facing the most unprepared situations. Okay, tell me, what do you do at such times? We act on an impulse, don’t we? We find ourselves doing something before we know the righteousness of it. You sometime do something in a rash, or in hurry and then you swear you won’t do it again but you find yourself having done the darn thing again. How do you explain that? We all lack explanations. Sometimes, we just do something and we don’t think of its consequences. Sometimes we risk too much. Even after much reasoning and analysis, we want to risk the odds. And I guess, that is living. We always want some kind of adventure in making our lives fuller.
Love is one tough emotion. It engulfs you at times. It hurts you at another. And it consoles you with tenderness at other times. Knowing that love just about swings in the air, we still feel ourselves lured into some sort of drowsiness that only love’s drugs can trick us. Is it because our hearts are untamed? Or is it just natural? I’m confused. A fool that I’m, I’m still coursing through to find a way out because I need a rein of my emotions.
(It is an excerpt from my journal. Written in July 2003)
I have no option but to talk about death….
Death – it hangs around us with such solemnity every single breath of our life and we don’t take much notice of it until it really dawns on us (do we?) But I watched this movie, “Final Destination” and I couldn’t help but wonder over this truth. Watch it and you will feel yourself haunted with the thought of when your death is actually coming. It speaks so much about the death being the truth and not knowing when exactly we’re going to die. It also shows that when your time comes, no matter who you beg for to give you more time, you have to go and you have no way to get out of it.
Death isn’t a mystery. It is with us now and everyday. We just haven’t got the guts to face it.
I’m sorry…putting in image requires a URL…so I’m here putting them up in a text. I thought I should put them up somehow since I would be lying if I didn’t. Following are the words that had a great effect on me that evening I was getting burned with my anger.
Three things that are truly constant:
3. Holy Spirit
Three things in life that can destroy a man/woman:
Three things that make a man/woman:
1. Hard work
Three things in life that are never certain:
Three things in life that are most valuable:
Three things in life that may never be lost:
Three things in life that, once gone, never come back:
Love him for what he is. Do not wish he were someone perfect or better so that you could love him more. If you haven’t learnt to love, there is no one called perfect to fit your prototype.
I got so pissed…I felt like things were crashing on me. In really a big fire of anger I thought I will quit doing anything and make a different turn to life. I thought I wouldn’t care what comes after that. I thought life I was going to choose would be much better. But here I’m at office working late on something (It is 8:43PM). I had my work done and checked my mail before I left and here is what made me really think deeper and melt away all the remnants of anger I felt three hours earlier. It is lovely and it is surprising how much effect it can have on you.
Nopkin…you gotta tell me how to put an image here. Don’t have much time to try it right now. So you’ll have to wait for those words that had a great effect on me.
Nice weekends guys.
I was at some workshop and I heard people talk that there are some hotels/clubs where young girls dance, sit on the laps of older man…and I also heard that there was once a group of Indian officials working in Bhutan with a group of young school girls entertaining themselves somewhere on the way to Sangaygang (or is it Sanjaygang?); What concerned me more as I heard this was not the young girls entertaining them (Remember, as they danced, those men kind of strip teased them ), but what made them do it. It seems like people here are all educated and well-learned. I just thought it might provoke some wise steps…
I will come with more of such stories…I just want women and men alike to help