You may call the admiration you feel for someone when you are in high school, an infatuation. Some call it a crush, which I suppose means that it is not really love – which is forever. But I tell you, it never really leaves you. It remains in your heart – both the feelings you felt then, and the person. You can so vividly remember where that person sat in the class – if you were classmates, and how that person responded to questions that the teachers asked; or how he reacted to people’s awed expression of his intelligence. In some cases, it could be the admiration for the coolness, or sense of fashion that he/she exuded. In my case, I think the admiration for the guy was for his intelligence, sharpness of his senses, calmness and his personality that seemed unaffected by what people thought about him.
Yes, there he sat – right at the corner, near the window. He would never volunteer to answer a question if it wasn’t directed to him specifically. This made me think that he was a humble person who didn’t want to show that he knows a lot. He did know a lot, for he always topped the class. I am still in touch with him because from then to now, we have been friends. He says, that isn’t intelligence; in his words, topping a class isn’t intelligence. I don’t know what it is, but he surely did have something not many others did. His movement around the high school arena during the multiple functions seemed almost furtive. There was not a single sound of rustle or footsteps. I think it is also this personality of him that attracted people.
I was lucky because as we passed high school, we were placed in the same school and we got to know each other better. The admiration had come to be mutual and we even went on to believe that it was love. However, love never won. We both got married – and we both have beautiful families. We are blessed that way. But that doesn’t make us forget each other, or how we feel for each other. I think, love never really leaves you. Even if it is just an infatuation, I think it lingers in your mind. It could be just a memory of how you were affected back then, or it could be more than that. But it really always teases your heart, from time to time.
In this essay, I am going to express my views on whether “Democracy creates stability in a society”. First of all, I will give an overview of what democracy is.
Basically, democracy means a government in which supreme power is vested to the people and exercised by them directly or indirectly through a system of representation usually involving periodically held free elections. In other words, it is a system of government in which everyone in the country is equal and has the right to decide and vote to elect its members. Nowadays, democracy is often used as an ideal which promises to bring peace, prosperity and happiness to all.
In addition, democracy includes the following aspects; citizen participation, equality, political tolerance, accountability, transparency, regular and fair elections, economic freedom, control of abuse of power and bills of rights.
In my opinion, I support the statement that democracy creates stability in a society. Firstly, I think that the greatest advantage of a democratic system is that it provides for changes of government without violence. Instead of power transferring to the group with the greatest number of soldiers prepared to fight and die for a cause we submit to the ideal that the number of votes will suffice in substitute.
Secondly, I think that another important advantage of democracy is that since the majorities of people living under a democratically elected government are happy with that government or at least participated in its rise to power, they will also have to shoulder part of the blame for its failings. Thus, if the policy which the majority supports, people will not tend to blame others as it was their choice in the first place thus minimizing conflicts.
Thirdly, most conflicts such as riots or strikes happen due to differing opinions between politicians and the common people. Thus, with democracy, since everyone’s opinion can be heard by the government and policies will be molded to their opinions, conflicts will be greatly minimized.
An example of a successful democratic nation would be Singapore. Whilst it is not pure democracy per Se, it is a mixture of Authoritarianism and Democracy, also known as Authoritarian Democracy. Singapore has been widely hailed as a good example of Democracy, “a developed nation with a growth rate of a developing nation’s”. This could only be due to a successful political system, resulting in a stable society.
However, democracy also does not always guarantee success. I think that democracy sometimes “elects” dictators into power. In the past years, there have been many cases of democracy gone wrong. For example, in Africa the government threatened not to give resources to the people who do not vote for them. Thus everybody, including the poor and oppressed, have no choice but to vote for these corrupt and cunning dictators. They cannot vote for a potential candidate who is willing to champion their cause and help solve their plight. Thus this generates a lot of strife and unrest in the country which amounts to anger and the people who feel oppressed may stage riots. When the people feel that they are not heard, they will take matters into their own hands and the situation may turn very ugly and the change can be very fast.
Thus, from this case study I can say that democracy cannot ensure stability in a society but it can surely act as a good cover for the dictators in power. These dictators hide behind a facade of democracy and say, “we are legal! We are democratic!” They are totally “covered” by the process of voting and they will say that they have been voted into power but actually have been using underhand and hardball tactics to achieve their position. Thus, the dominant party controls almost everything and if voting really changed anything, they would not allow us to do it. Thus this does not ensure stability in a society as this will cause poverty and strife in a country. This also may generate anger and violence which is bad for the economy and the overall stability of the country.
Democracy is a lot about one’s own personal choice. But sometimes people are not given much choice. The uninformed who vote are very easily swayed during an election campaign. The dominant party usually exploits this and tries to use their fat budget and almost unlimited resources during the elections to dangle “carrots” in front of the people’s faces and try to sway votes during a crucial time during an election. However, this may happen to the naive and emotional group of people. Thus, we are in deep trouble if the majority is composed of such people.
One bad aspect of democracy is that the majority gets whatever they want and thus the minorities may feel oppressed and this also leads back to the problem of a potential candidate feeling pointless to champion their cause because of the insignificance of their votes. These minorities may find that they are not given much attention and thus stage a protest to voice their concerns themselves. This can lead to clashes with the police and violence will erupt, which shows that democracy can also create instability in a society.
Thus, in conclusion, I think that a democratic nation can minimize conflicts and create stability in a society provided that fair elections are held and the different political parties must be honest and “go by the book” and not use any under hand or unscrupulous means to get votes.
Many a times we come up with a situation where we go speechless. Confused to decide what is right or wrong, what to do or not and what to choose or not. Brain asks for better solutions and heart wants something else. No matter how much stupid choice you have made. Your heart feels better but your brain is in the most worst condition.
I am speechless now…..
I met my childhood friend,
After thirty five years on this Earth,
So gentle in conduct and so honest with feelings,
shy in nature yet handsomely built,
The perfect gentleman he became.
He took me for a ride in the wood,
We shared the same experiences,
and saw the same surprises,
And underwent same joy and pleasure
The gift of childhood treasure.
The moon at its fullest coating the sky silvery
The Nightingale thrusting melodies
Inviting long lost lover eagerly
The cool breeze brushing the cheeks gently,
Extending symbolic welcome
We listened to the melodies of the Birds,
The duet note of joy for lovers
The male Nightingale sang with the base,
The female with the pitch
They exchanged greetings and vanished for eternity.
We remained dumb and still,
Envying the feathery bondage,
With Romance in Air and pleasure at heart,
Feeling nostalgic and dazed,
Until my friend blurred out……
WOW ! What a perfect romantic night!
Sometimes I am confused, sometimes i am just lying here thinking about my life. Its so strange where I dont understand where i stand.
Barely do I observe changes these days – is it the arrival of the king of the seasons?? I ponder. Surroundings undergoing different stages of metamorphosis, which is indeed the conventional means of change that cherishes every living being with the magnificent view of nature after a long dusty winter. Freezing winter days have almost disappeared and we are yet to plunge into the budding season of spring whereby the nature is filled with prospects of prettiness. Spring is not only the season of change but also a spell of glamour which periodically replaces the dry season.
Some fruitful trees in our vicinity have also started blossoming beautiful flowers paving way for the aspiring butterflies to switch on to greener pastures of their life, further embellishing the initial charm of the spring. The dried pastures around are regaining its true colors, wee grasses and plants are growing incessantly to propel the long wilted season of dust. Strong winds are replaced by cool breeze from the south adding, yet, another version of taste to the new guest. Moreover, the drizzling also came in the form of relief rainfall as to nurture young plants and trees. Days are becoming longer than usual whereas the span of night is decreasing unexpectedly. The mellifluous tone of birds and insects are yet to be heard.
As the king of the season, spring, comes by, a package of delightful mode comes along with it. I believe it is the best form of season which motivates, inspires and influences us to enjoy the beauty of nature. Ultimately, everything is uncertain in life, so let’s not forget to grasp every moment that passes by to transform ourselves into better human beings.
So, was wondering. The 25 NCs and 55 or so MPs now leaving, some lucky guy (cannot say talented or useful to their constituents) to be reelected. My point is now in the next election more new MPs and NCs and Lyonpos will be created. Naturally, the outgoing MPs, NCs and ex-Lyonpos will still retain their blue and orange kabneys, their vehicles with the MP Logo while the new ones will change their white kabneys for blue or orange ones.
Does that mean one day in the future, Bhutan (Thimphu mainly) will be littered with Blue and Orange kabneys and the vehicles with licence plate with the NA logo? Will the VIP section in any national event be so full of this rainbow of blue and orange kabneys?
Will our white kabney actually be lesser than the coloured ones? Not to forget every legal graduate also gets a green one with a patang.
Thimphu will truly be a colourful place then and name dropping will mean nothing as everyone will have a “big shot” amongst their ‘pinchas’.
What can be done?? Disallow the exes from using their kabneys? Just dropping their patang means hardly anything…
Life for me is something that I always question about. I need to question myself for where I am turning around. And still I get buried under the burden of my short sighted solutions. Short sighted for I am not perfect. I am not perfect for if I am I wouldn’t be here on the earth. So life, the whole realm gears around unfathomable sufferings and mistakes.
What more should and can I say about life? When I think back there are many incidences that make my eyes well up with tears. The tears of rejection, abandon, failure, and lists goes on. The journey isn’t good. It isn’t an adventurous. It was not what I might have expected. The agony of remembering someone’s face vividly, the failure of lone, grief of parents’ sickness, and the nervous of struggling to catch and hold of good professional verve.
I feel like I want to go away and run somewhere very fast. Run onto the top of the mountain where prayer flags waft lively and call for divinity. Run for to find where you are. Run to call the divine god to answer my agony of lone men. I want to swiftly get and catch one that always disturbs my peaceful state of mind. Run for to become what I am destined to. I will have to hold on for marathon for the small goals and the values that I have to inculcate to nullify my weakness.
There was time when I said, I am not always alone. There was time when I uttered I am not bad. Those were my best reminisce about how I was happy in your arms, the reminiscence of how I have grown. My past taught me to at least tackle something for my future but it hasn’t taught me enough to endure the present. The pain is only the word that always reckons me and tries to make me comfort but it exceeds the level of my warmth.
The pain when I am all alone. The pain when I visualize your face which I try hard not to. No choice but to except the mercy wagging of dogs’ tail and a cat slowly climbing on my lap to comfort and wish please for me. These two animals try so hard to console me.
I am all buried under your rejection, abandon and the agony is ruling my life, please help me!!!
Oh! My precious Mother!
Where are you?
You were gone without a word of good bye;
Nor an epistle you have left to me.
Are you in the heaven watering the flower?
Like the dakinis looking at me.
With so many flowers blooming around you.
It’s not fair to leave someone behind
Who missed you so much.
I love to see your face from the very toddler;
Who love to rest on your sweetest breast…
As if like your own child.
You must be finding happy somewhere else
Enjoying along with someone’s holding hands
Eating with sumptuous meal.
Here I am landed in the absent of mother’s love;
Without mother is really a tragic sad.
Tears from the depth of some divine despair
Rise in the heart, and gather to my eyes.
That you could admire and bring into your home.
If you cannot feed on your lap, why did you give me birth?
I would have better died before leaving the womb.
Why I was born in this world?
World is the happiest place once you dwelled.
Nothing left once you gone are alone.
I am a vagabond! Without mother to see.
A mother abandoned.
I’ve searched high and low;
Through the window of my world
To find my long lost mom.
Where are you? Have I been had? Oh! Mother,
If you are there, why I am here?
Sat apart, my heart feels speared.
I walked every door though sunny streets
Thinking of you only! My mother.
Will you accept this pain I endure in the name of you?
Seems you do not care enough for truth.
For your child who left without much care of your love
Some mother loves sibling not much of difference
I miss you mother in the passion of love;
But in grief, and with my childhood’s faith.
Oh God! Help me to find my folk
And free my soul from all unspoken.
I may as well not be alive;
It’s like living without light.
“Hey man can u come up with an article which mainly beats around “how challenging it is to an engineer”; initially struggle with studies, once in service it’s even more challenging to face all sort of bureaucrats and politicians, where nobody appreciates the efforts engineers put in instead we bear the brunt of everyone…”
Firstly let me thank Mr. Phunthso Wangdi, Chota Don for having suggested the topic. Because may be he is afraid of bureaucrats and politicians, maybe he finds engineering too difficult and challenging while in study plus in field that’ll nullify his effort when bureaucrats and politicians get involved.
Engineering in Bhutan is associated with all hype and popularity. Only the top students from various high schools get admitted in the only engineering degree offering college in the country. Only few students are sent ex-country for various engineering courses to meet the market demand. Still the demand is so high and the benefits and satisfaction that the rank offers is excellent.
Students opt for engineering basically for two reasons. One reason is the parent’s insistence in greater choice of career. No parent wants to see his/her son/daughter just living hand-to-mouth later. Number two reason is own interest. If someone has joined the engineering colleges because he/she loves engineering, he/she will be well informed about the future and the enormous effort he/she will have to empower to substantially contribute to the growth of the country.
Pursuing engineering isn’t easy as sometimes you may expect. There are loads of burden of analysis, research, project etc… you have to bear and sometimes you get buried under. Scoring highest possible in high school and expecting the same in the engineering college won’t suffice your survival in engineering studies. But definitely we should be good in maths but not necessarily genius. We should have logic for solving problems scientifically.
Since Bhutan is in the developing stage, maximum of the students choose for the traditional engineering – civil engineering. Everywhere we can see construction blooming in the country. The fresh green forest is revolutionizing to concrete jungle. A civil engineer is responsible for using their civil engineering background to plan and oversee various construction efforts in many different areas of this field. They will apply civil engineering principles to ensure that structures are constructed in the safest, sturdiest manner.
Daily basis Civil engineers engage in many general responsibilities. They analyze various factors concerning a construction job. They analyze the proposed construction site location as well as the entire construction job which is to be done and completed at the site. They will analyze the process for completing the construction job every step of the way.
The civil engineer must also plan the construction project that will be taking place in conjunction with the results they found due to their analysis of the proposed project. During the process and at the end, the civil engineer must inspect the product to ensure that all rules, regulations and guidelines have been explicitly followed.
When country develops, there are always conflict between bureaucrats, technocrats and politicians. The need of bureaucracy results primarily from modernization. Due to the progress of bureaucratization it encourages to democracy. And now we are democratically elected monarchy. It is well known fact that the government accomplishes its precision, speed, and consistency through well-trained staffs of bureaucracies.
In practice of civil engineering, government bureaucracies’ main function is to ensure fairness, procedure lapses and shield the negative externalities of development. However, in process to maintain fairness and equity through bureaucratic process, administrators end up processing a high amount of discretionary authority. Citizens too has the right to investigate alternatives and to participate in the decision making, how to go about the agenda which ultimately affect their environment, which is the democratic standard.
There are instances where the effort of the engineer is never appreciated and had to ‘bear burnt of everyone’. It may be because we don’t have the form of government in which experts in technology controls in decision making – technocracy. Engineers are tagged corrupt. People say engineers are corrupt because they get more money and are well-off comparing to other professions. Their incentives are good. Their work other then office works paid them well. They use more energy, time and skills to get work done. What is there when someone use more effort for the benefits of others?
In the eye of Bureaucrat whatever visual inspection possible will not be technically feasible. Their visual possibility of judging may prove wrong technically and scientifically. The technical possibilities and stability for the safety and welfare of people is must for the engineering works and in fact politicians and bureaucracies shouldn’t blame for the work done by technocrats. Administrators should not at least wish to get engineering work done according to their lame excuse of authority they possess.
Yes, everyone has the right and responsibility if the structures or anything that is the result of engineering fail before stipulated time and cause nuisance instead of mitigate. Whatever burnt and consequences there will be, engineers should be responsible and questioned for. And we all should have the fact intact that, through mutual cooperation we can move ahead for the betterment of our promising tomorrows.
So, we should never forget that Civil engineers work hard. Hours can be long, government funding cuts can destroy a project, deadlines are firm, and weather can throw projects off schedule. If the timetable degenerates, an engineer has to overcome scheduling obstacles with ingenuity. Most of the engineers who are employed under government sector must be ready for bureaucratic delays, political stalls, and lots and lots of paperwork. Satisfaction is strong; most wouldn’t trade their occupation for any other.
A shimmering light from outside drew a contour of his face in the dark. He quietly held my hand, and pulled my head on his chest. I listened to his heartbeat, and wondered if I was sent there on a purpose, to fall in love. Only the night before, I was a happy girl who was running around so innocently, giggling with friends and teasing them for crying over missing someone.
I had not foreseen such an encounter. I did not know whether this was for good, or bad. I was a naïve young girl, just turned 20. I had had crush on a guy in high school and scribbled hundreds of letters in my diary. But that was different. I did not know if I could equate it to love. Anyway, what I was feeling then was something very different to any feelings I had known. Was I puzzled? Was I scared? I seemed to feel all kinds of emotions, all at once, and yet, there was a complete calm in how we gazed at each other. My tiny hands felt secure and warm in his. I felt a little jumpy in my heart because my head certainly questioned my feelings. But there was this second thought that said I should forget everything and follow my heart.
On my first night there, inside my host’s house, I noticed him come him. His well-built physique and height made an enormous presence. What people notice first about him is his self-possession and poise. But that night, before we had so much as introduced, I went off to sleep because I was tired from the day long bus journey.
The next evening, to my surprise, he walked into my room. We sat talking almost all night long. It was surprising that we had so much to talk about on the first meeting. Until that moment we met, we had no idea about each other’s existence. I dozed off for a little while and that is when he kissed me. As I sit here today, I can so vividly see him and I can still feel the touch of his lips. His words are, ‘you were sleeping so innocently and I couldn’t help pull up and kiss you.’ I remember the feel. With that kiss, it seemed to seal our bond. His proposal took a bigger impact and I couldn’t forget him until I accepted him as a man who I would grow old with. The first kiss always carries with it a meaning larger than we can understand and it stays with you forever.
Your hard work and love brought peace, in among us,
Dark, day or gloomy, you strolled back home, on with bliss,
Wait until we are covered with blanket, for warm sleep,
To unfold the new happiness together when next sun and day flip.
Holding high your energy, to feed many, among many as child,
Foot took you away across snow and cliff, hand on the field,
Stock full to the rim, winter not to be worried, and happiness rose high,
Under your arm, we swung with laughter, stand with pride limit to sky.
Though illiterate, you knew the importance, we were made to learn,
With anticipation and wishes, all of us, now hold knowledge to earn,
Sweat to mint penny for us, what you gave us, made us study hard,
Never to let you fall low, but also be your old age supporter and guard.
Grandfather, you became, with nephews and nieces joining your tree,
The smiles, wider it grew on your face, we asked your prayers for free,
To shower, the strength and powers of love like you, into their red veins,
For they, being your part of flesh through us, shall have strength, off pains.
Though we want you always with us, to guide, share and care more,
Life has to end, so shall we human as we have life, but not the core,
You are the centre of us to hold and stand straight, we need you whole,
Not a memory of your face, but to keep you physically on top of head whorl.
Seeing your strength falling, physique shedding and wrinkles adding on you,
The heart that you made smile, now blinks with wonder, what to do,
Prayers of all level are murmured, to seek the blessing and miracles from god,
And the power of our wish for you be with us more, shall be heard, my lord.
Fact of born to die, though shall be the guidance of gaining strength now,
Fighting the medicine with your limited strength shall not be low.
The prayers that we offer to all deity shall not be gone into vain,
Nor shall the lord and deities leave us, for all forever, with pain.
May, our prayers and offerings bring miracle, fortunes and changes onto your health.
Dedicated to my Father In-Law
Who serves the BPC?
Me, you, yet less or all of them,
Those who feel water is free,
Theirs be the power,
ours the generation.
We are the back bone,
We meet their demand
Once they had no power
Now their days the brightest burn.
We see all of modern civilization.
Standing tall on head lamps
When power was oscillate;
And a nation waited
Under the dark night of heaven.
BPC toiled hard through thick and thin
To bring forth the light of true brightness
So our nation must know,
What hardships one must overcome.
What choices must be made for change.
We must see the power in all its glory
And we must not pine for want for more
To the highest degree and greatest scope
Power is there for all to enjoy
Glowing in every house and town
down to distant shanty villages.
We take the power from mountain top
To tap its flow down in the valley
As feel another 10,000, Megawatts coming
Its is our hope to promise you light
To make your life and house bright,
We will light the lamp of love and happiness,
In every corner of our nation
That is our dream and our one and only goal,
Brighter your houses, happier your lives
We aspire to plant the seed of GNH,
Through socioeconomic prosperity,
That is the priority of our long journey
We will empower a green nation.
We love working endless house on the tower,
For the generous shower of progress.
We will generate money from that tower,
Always hoping for the best,
Making our dream a reality.
Poem by: Kezang Dawa
This poem was published in DHI, Melong Magazine.
Brake….brake…brake!!… My boss shouted at me when suddenly one of a rear wheels skidded on the ice. I shouted back to him, No… no… no…I can’t break it boss. Why…you bloody fool? He scolded me in very harsh words. Suddenly I pulled the brake pedal in every angle but could not stop from skidding. I told him it is not a god idea to put brake on ice otherwise there will not brake at all because I need the brake all the time ….Hahaha…you are very right my driver…he patted on my back with trust. You can driver as you wish now, we are out of danger. Once more I checked the brake and went on normal gear.
Globe in front of you has to revolve a lot to locate Bhutan on it. Country that’s hard to find on the map revolved through times to transit from so called the land-locked. It was unlocked from Monarchy to Democratic Monarchy first ever in 2008 and we are democratically elected monarchic government. It is almost five years old.
We had only two political parties, Druk Phuntshum Tshogpa (DPT) and People’s Democratic Party (PDP) for the current government election. The motto of DPT is “Equity and Justice” while to “Walk the Talk” is PDP’s.
Now the time is approaching for Bhutanese to be extra careful with their thumb for which they shall vote for. There are five political parties in total. Recently three new political parties joined the election market vying for better quantity of votes. They are Druk Ngyamrub Tshogpa, Druk Chirwang Tshogpa, and Bhutan Kuen-Ngyam Party.
In democracy the quality of votes doesn’t counts. The quantity matters a lot. For this you have to be careful to choose the right candidate from your constituency. The better choice you make the better enlighten citizen you are. Even the vagabond has the right to vote for. And can you call him the better enlighten citizen? The better choice for the better promising tomorrows will decide the strength of our nation.
You have the fallacy of calling politics a dirty game and you don’t want to get involve. Sorry if you don’t have. There is no dirty game at all. There are only dirty players. That is it! The choice is yours whether to vote for dirty player or not. In near future everything will be result of politics. The air you breathe will be the result politics. The water you will drink the education that your children will get and the medicine you’ll take will be the result of politics. By not getting involved you are already involved.
With more than seventy percent of population living in rural area, more vulnerable are we that the Politian triumphs over creating the reality of docile population. Because politicians tries to pick words and use words to shape reality and control reality. But the fact is more often reality changes words far more than words can ever change reality. Words are at center of politics and all politicians know they have to try and control language.
Moreover the diplomacy of the educated middle class will stir the gear and topple the biggest game of election.
There are many questions that one has to ask before voting for the party which you may think shall be ruling. Can you afford to send your children to college when financial institutions stop lending loans and when Royal University of Bhutan has become autonomous, when your son/daughter has to pay tuition fees which are not at all worth comparing the quality of tutors? And moreover the modules are credited depending on the degree of importance and have to pay equally.
What if you have to pay for the medical facilities when the hospitals are not well equipped with the basic necessities and when the check up is not up to the standard of what we desire to be! And what if you have to wait for a day or half to get checkup with the simple sickness like headache, cough and cold…Etc.
I must not to be judgmental about the political parties and rather I’ll vote for the right party that’ll serve for the betterment of our nation. Let’s stop playing one against another. Let’s all be responsible and make our country a hub for happiness.
Chilly melancholic emotions fill the air,
As this wintry season came in like a fellow.
Frosting my heart of hope in total despair!
Grasses on the lawns are now grey and yellow.
The cloudless sky above me is Royal Blue and clear
And the stream serenely flowed down below…
“Splash!” a stone fell from high above into the stream,
And my moment of wintry happiness disappeared like a dream.
Letting the tear roll onto the cheek when he blinks the eye after a long gaze towards the ceiling, finally he catch a piece of tissue to wipe it off facing his face down to let the other side not see him crying. But, by the tone he speaks and the lateness in his reply makes it clear that he was not fine and is in deep worry too. But, being thousands of miles away from home, who went to pursue his studies, he can only shed tears throughout day and night worrying back at home and imagining the worst feeling and trouble that his beloved wife and kid is undergoing.
Dorji, with the peer pressure and society challenges was forced to leave family behind for an up-gradation of his qualification and later got landed in a semi-third country. Like other, he was not equipped with a lust of luck to catch the best third country. However with acceptance as a reward from his fate for wherever he gets to pursue his study, he left behind his beloved wife and son and walked towards the country known as an amazing land with sadness in his tamed mind. He wasn’t satisfied with his son’s face and togetherness nor was he able to make the u-turn back home then.
Few days of separation with his beloved one made a minute an hour and a month a year but, with the prayers offered and subsequently the blessing ushered on all of them, nothing much of a disturbance like that of what he was facing now happen happened. Though few misfortunes were there, but their strong love between them though far away, kept them closer and attached. Night though would be an empty night for both of them, their promise which they later made kept them informed of what they should be doing and what they did promised not to.
With a break in between the study period, with their little saving made, he could land back home at the pain of losing those saving from the mere earned monthly salary. Their urges made them be able to sacrifice the monetary mind overcome by their emotions. Few month together back at home, minutes were second, weeks were days and months were like a week. Swiftly he was landed back to continue his study. Though half a dozen of months left to finish, the separating was even harder than the earlier one, when he came first. Their belongingness to each other was always growing deeper and deeper.
As now, when only a quarter of a year is left to finish this long solitude, problem added on problems, worry added on the worries and everything become a “no solution” situation. Whatever came on their way were too harsh to handle. Lack of baby sitter, lack of money as his salary was cut half and domestic problem came in together. If any one of these problems existed, it is easy to be solved but when any of these two appear together, road of the life becomes thorny. When they faced it, there was no solution for it as they have to walk through this road, bleeding from the eye day and night, drenching the pillow and covering the wound underneath the blanket making it unheard to anyone other than them.
When life is an unexpected journey, sometimes, they wished there were some other ways and alternatives to pass that rough journey, which actually will never happen to them, until some miracle happens. The hurt that they carry is never heard and hope after re union, they would be able to face it together wiping of each other’s tear.
In the hands of impunity peace and happiness
Those hundred and two years of potentate ruled.
Through fortress of a faithful heart we are blessed?
Majesty shed energetic power to save our realm;
When father gave heart to its son shouldered a big helm.
Thy wondrous action was a legend born
Thou saga will move the lip of those dynastic pass
Roads and Bridge beneath everyone’s feet;
Health and education the seed of Gross national happiness
What ye sow is we shall reap in good yield
Your innocent eyes speaks the words of epitome;
Where people shower with peace and harmony,
Lucky are we born in such regal country;
Let’s pray for the king, let’s plight of true prevail
In the warm hand of our young sapient king,
People shall rejoice with all hope and aspiration;
Thou glorious Weapon was the country in peace.
Security; is more than my life’ ye oath Tsa-wa-sum
Folded hands thru ye charm heart hero vowed;
When unexpected disaster hit the tragic night we stood,
Swept the roof by the wind;
Many injured some died every things was crocked;
Left homeless night in the darkness biting cold;
Seek home shed in the biting ground
Dream to see lord king;
Eyes filled in blur voice laden with equanimity worry;
Traumatized event left the nation under immense tragic sad
Everyone of my happy hour left in the grave a funeral pyre;
Where people celebrate lament tears in each other’s lap
Soul-deep in vision king appear when all in desperately need;
Impetus command to against threats military action;
Thou pay the price walked along; the needy home shed.
Witnessed those affected victim behind damaged,
Shelter for vagrant insist for further necessary action.
Gave the life of survival to stand to see them with today;
Blessing and prayer arouse from many peoples.
Prayer flags stand to flutter let departed soul rest in peace;
In all essence of true heart all we grieve in chanting prayer.
Through thy kind heart a grant reverence was bestowed
Every footstep he made was in all compassionate sorrow.
Through thy pitiful eyes broke people’s sorrow into happiness day.
Let’s bring back that happiness returned those sorrow.
I apologies those victim; to accept my hearty commiserate forgiveness.
All we shall pray to god worship our sapient kings.
Thou shall bless us through thy solicitous heart,
Shower us with peace and happiness more than what we have now.
I haven’t started to drink my coffee. She had finished her share. And she stood up to leave the restaurant. I could only manage to say, “Please stay for a while.” She did not listen. She dragged the door, and then turned around and said, “I hate lusty liars.” She left.
I felt miserable. Unwanted. Rejected. I knew that I wasn’t a lair. Though I only told half of the truth. Only she was wrong to presume. I admit that I am not a good man, but I do respect women. Though ugly, I am quite extrovert, modern, educated, intelligent and funny sometimes. So, why am I scandalized?
We didn’t bump into one another at a romantic place. We never met in person, but through phone. Before our brief date, we exchanged short mobile messages. I can’t remember how many times we exchanged SMS, may be hundreds. I certainly cannot say that she was not into me; at least I felt so. After that, I called her. She responded well. May be she over reacted for which I thought that she liked me. We talked, laughed, and fought over the phone. It was true, she did like me.
As our friendship grew stronger, I decided to meet her. It was Monday, a bright and sunny day. I liked the weather. My mood was inclined towards her. I text her, and asked her out. She accepted easily. I knew that she would. Then I brushed my teeth, applied some cologne and maintained my hair. After grooming myself, I called her.
“Hello….where are you?” She answered.
“Home,” I said.
“When are you coming?”
“I will be there after 30 minutes.”
“I will wait only 30 minutes mai.”
“If you keep a girl waiting, then you are not a gentleman.”
“I would exactly be at five, its 4.30 only,” I clicked the red button, and sighed.
I took a cab and reached the main traffic before 5 pm. Like usual, the traffic police was swaying his hands to and fro from the funny box. I pitied him. And I had a cigarette behind an old building, and forced to relax. It seemed useless. My phone beeped. A SMS read, “Where have you reached?” “I am near the traffic,” I replied.
“I am near the Midpoint. So come down.”
“Okay, will be in a minute.”
In nervousness, I forgot that we had decided to meet at the Midpoint restaurant.
I breathed deeply. It seemed helpful this time. And then I walked with all my guts towards the Midpoint.
“I would be in a yellow tego.” I remembered her description.
In front of the restaurant, I saw a tall and ravishingly beautiful girl gazing in the different direction, with yellow tego and a leopard patterned boot. I walked towards her. She turned and looked at me. I managed to force a smile- awful one though.
“Hi.. Are you Pema? I am Delek, your call friend, and today’s date,” I mumbled.
“Oh…hi. You are exactly on time. So, what’s next?”
“Let’s go inside for a cup of coffee. People are staring at us. And they would be jealous of me.”
“Okay for the coffee. But why jealous.”
“Because they would think that a funny looking guy is with a beautiful girl.”
She laughed, and followed me inside. I was anxious. But somehow I managed to order two coffees. She talked about her work, and I talked about nothing. Actually I had nothing to talk about work. How I wished that I could lie and say that I am an engineer, but I told her the truth. She wished me luck that I would find a decent job. I thanked her looking straight in her eyes. The waiter interrupted our short romance when she brought our order. For next few minutes, we were silent- busy sipping coffee. Then she broke the ice.
“Delek….please tell me the truth. From where did you get my no?” She demanded boldly.
Oh shit! I hated that question. I wasn’t prepared for that. In two weeks she hasn’t asked that question even once. I started to sweat. The man who gave me her number said not to reveal his name at any cost. I didn’t ask why and I didn’t understand why he was so concerned about his name. But that moment, like a cat, I longed to shrink below our coffee table when her question echoed in my head. I was in dilemma weather to name that guy or to make excuses. Nothing came into my mind. I stayed silent in nervousness.
“From whom? Where? Please tell me the truth. Fast!” She repeated and sounded serious.
“Baaarrrr….” I didn’t know how this word came out of my mouth. Bar would have been the last word I liked to utter.
“Which bar? Where? Who gave you my number at bar?
“Ahhh…I can’t remember his name. It was at Jungshina.”
“Ummm…He was not taller than me. His hair was long and placed towards right. He was well built.”
“It’s Rinzin. That bastard won’t leave me alone.” This time she was furious.
As I was about to say something, she stood from the sofa and started to leave. I could only manage to say, “Please stay for a while.” She replied, “I hate lusty liars.” And she left.
I was bewildered. I helplessly felt I was offended.
I called Rinzin and narrated my poignant story. He was laughing. I found out that my friend, a driver, had lied to her. She is a researcher, so he had to say that he was a civil engineer to equivalent her. He had slept with her, and dumped her before she knew that truth…and few months later, she had seen him driving a government pool vehicle.
“Give way! Give way!” shouted the driver as a patient on the stretcher was pulled from the ambulance by few sturdy men, and was rushed to the Emergency Unit at the Mongar Referral Hospital.
Everyone in the hospital watched with open mouth as they saw the patient in a horrible state. They saw her eyes and body twitch in uncontrollable convulsion as if possessed like the village shamans. She was in dead pain and foams dripped from the corner of her dark purple lips. Nobody moved a muscle. The hospital unusually became silent for a moment except the screeching of the roller of the stretcher being pushed over the cemented floor inside the EU.
After few agonizing hours, the Doctor came outside the EU and told those sturdy men that the patient was put out of danger. The men were glad to hear the news, but were taken aback as they were told that their patient was pregnant.
“She is 5 months 3 weeks pregnant,” declared the Doctor.
“Pregnant?” the men raised their brows and looked at each other.
“Who among you is her husband?” inquired the Doctor as he removed his mask and gloves.
“Hu-s-ba-nd?” stammered the men and looked at each other quizzically. Not even one among those four men nodded in agreement. They all shook their heads and told the Doctor they just found her while picnicking by a farm.
“So none of you are her husband…” the Doctor removed his glass and wiped it clean. He put back his glass and adjusted on his hawk like nose and said,
“It was kind of you men that she was brought here in the hospital on time. Had it been late, she might have died for she had consumed rat poison, most probably to kill herself. The baby inside her womb is unaffected. Thanks gentlemen.”
The men bowed back humbly with a smile across their face and left the ward. As the men walked out of the ward, they twisted their head and looked over their shoulder to have a glance.
She was pretty well now, lying flat on the hospital bed. She wasn’t moving a muscle. She might be around 24, the men thought. She looked healthy, strong with shoulder length brownish hair with curls at its end and was of medium height, attractive and beautiful. She was staring blank at the rotating fan above her head and wasn’t even looking as they left.
For four days, she laid on the hospital bed. Her eyes were rolling in quick succession as if to signal something but she didn’t speak. She kept on biting her lips. The Nurses and Doctors on duty could get nothing out of her. She simply kept quiet and not even bothered to look at them when questioned. No family, friends and relatives came to visit her and check on her, except the hospital staff on duty. She sat alone on the metal bed, lost in her own thoughts. Warm salty tears rolled down her cheeks. She mumbled from time to time but no one was there to listen to her mumblings.
As days turned into weeks and weeks into months, still there showed no sign of any soul visiting her. She ate and drank at times but never spoke. She lost her luster almost looking pale, her eyes sunken into the sockets and her lips cracked, for it lacked care.
She had lost her mother 3 years ago and her father had long abandoned her mother when she was in infancy. She had heard of her father through friends, living a comfortable life with another woman in the western part of the country. Ever since, she had lived hard with her mother seeing her through her graduation to her present employment in BPCL, as an Administrative officer. After her mother’s demise, it was hard for her to live a single life, but she managed through all trivial to have her own little life of wonders and happiness. Actually, she enjoyed living the way she was living, for she had a good job, good house and a carefree world. And then she met him.
“I love you and will love you with all my heart…” echoed in her ears. She remembered how she met and fell for her man. It was at her friend’s marriage party, she bumped into him. Crowds thronged to congratulate the bride and the groom. After the ceremonial tying of the knot, people gathered around to sing and dance in circular motion. She was there standing in the corner sipping wine from a well shaped glass, holding it gently trying to feel its smoothness between her cupped hands, her eyes scanning every corner of the room.
Then she noticed someone she never had before, dancing along with others. He was tall, taller than most men in the dancing crowd, with thick hair a bit brighter, and piercing brown eyes in a sculpted face. She hadn’t seen him around before, maybe he new to the place came here to attend the marriage ceremony she thought, but as soon as she saw him her heart skipped a beat. She stared at him as he danced, and she too noticed him glancing at her once or twice. Till the end, her eyes never left him.
“Tap…tap…tap” the rattling sound on her bed jerked her back to reality. The Nurse on duty was standing beside her, holding the bowl containing doses of medicines and injections.
“It’s time to take your iron tablet and Amoxycillin. Here is the water.” The Nurse handed her the dose of medicine and a glass of water. She gulped all at one go, feeling the bitter taste of the small red medicine down her parched throat. The Nurse left without a word pulling the door behind.
She got out of bed and walked around, arching her body, feeling little movement inside her womb. As she watched outside through the glass window, she could see people coming in and moving out, some with babies wrapped in beautiful blankets, some with toddlers, father running behind to grab if they ever fall. Her eyes swelled with tears as she moved her hand round her womb, thoughts of her past haunting her like a piercing dagger.
“He is Seldrup, my husband’s best friend,” said her bride friend, nudging her with her elbow to introduce her to him. Before she could open her mouth, her friend blurted, “She is my friend Peday and works in BPCL as an Administrative Officer,” and then her friend disappeared in the crowd. There she stood in front of him, frozen, though the room seemed unbearably sweaty for the room was packed, with people drinking, gossiping and dancing.
“It’s getting hot in here, would you like to go outside for some fresh air?” said he with a grin and took hold of her hand and led her through the crowd, out to the open balcony. She couldn’t still believe. A moment ago they were staring at each other as strangers and now, as if known for ages, were together sitting on the balcony sharing thoughts and dreams, all out of the blue. Her heart raced and all she could do was stammer whenever he threw glances at her. By dawn, both of them were together in her little cozy home.
Thus, began her love life with Seldrup, never wanting to be away from him. Seldrup too promised that he would be back to get her once he informed his parents about her. True to his words, Seldrup came back to her to take her away to Paro, to finally tie the knot. His parents had also come with him to warmly accept their son’s bride to be.
“Screech…screech”, a car stopped abruptly nearly hitting a child, who was trying to cross the road. “Oh my god!” she screamed inside, her heart pounding loudly, as a child nearly got hit by a car, far below her. A tingling sense passed through her veins.
“Whose child is it? Better take care of your child. Don’t let them stray from you” shouted the driver angrily and drove out through the hospital gate. She turned around and slowly paced back to her bed, her dented bed, creaking as she mounted on it.
“Why? Why? Why it has happened to me?” she cursed herself and pulled her hair hard, giving sharp pain on her scalp and threw strands of her hair everywhere on the bed and on the floor.
There are some things in life that are not planned. They just happen. What had happened to her, happened before she could realize. It was not meant to be. But the fate had such twist that the man she fell for, gave for and couldn’t live without was her brother. Step brother, from her father’s second wife. She was introduced to Seldrup’s parents when they had come to take her away to where her heart rested. In the midst of introducing each other she saw the whole story of his father unveiling. “No! That can’t be” she grumbled to herself. How could she accept the fact that her going to be father-in-law was her own father? When the truth dawned on her, she ran away from them never to be back and without giving a second thought she took to rat poison.
The unkempt hair makes her look weird in the hospital. She now loiters around the hospital building like a daylight ghost, talking to herself most of the time. She can be seen basking in the sun without feeling the warmth. She is 8 month 3 weeks pregnant now. She waits to be deported to a mental hospital once she delivers the baby.
“For I have sinned, I am ready!” is what has been scribbled on the wall above her.