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Put yourself in their shoes

17 May 2011 Author kuenza

I'm talking with PasSu. We talk about parents, their love and how their love can carry them to the extent of putting their lives for their children. We seem similar in our thoughts. We both love our mothers so much and we fear impermanence because we cannot be together always. If forever is till the time we have fulfilled our dreams, made home for our mother, loved them like they love us, then, we could be readier than we otherwise will be. But there could be several years giving you a chance and still want a few more years. You think, if I have only two years more, I could do everything I want for her.

It is not uncommon for our parents to have had a hard life. There were not many schools. There was no road, no electricity. The country was not opened to trade. There were not enough food and clothes. There was never anything good to wear. There was never a good house to stay. But these things were not what they could worry about. They had to worry about living – filling their belly and their children's. And in some instances, like in mine, giving best to their children meant sacrifices on the part of some of the siblings.

My eldest brother could not go to school because he was the eldest and my parents needed him at home to help them. In my parents time, going to school was not the most important thing. Learning local trade to survive was the most important – because going to school would not bring immediate result to their needs of food. My parents would have kept my other brothers at home too with them, but my eldest brother won over them in sending them to school.

However, my two elder sisters never had a chance. More because they are women. Girls were needed at home more than the boys. They had to weave, tend to younger siblings and herd cattle. I'm told that, one of my sisters once got frustrated and said to my brother, 'If we could stay home and send you ration, you will happily go to school!'

I feel when I'm not sweating in the field, they shouldn't be too. But my friend says, 'My uncles never thought like you did.' It is same with many of us. While we pile different clothes in our wardrobe and eat in different restaurants, some of our siblings, uncles, aunts, and cousins are sweating to just keep themselves off from debt.

My best friend said to me too, 'your sisters are lucky, you put yourself in their shoes. My uncles never did. My mother suffered while they enjoyed in Thimphu.'

It is important for us to put ourselves in the shoes of others once in a while. Unless we do so, we cannot really understand them. While you read my article, put yourself in the shoes of your brother or sister who is working hard at home, and next time, be more considerate of how you treat them.

2 responses to “Put yourself in their shoes”

  1. Noodle Head says:

    Yeah, exactly, “only the wearer of the shoes knows where it pinches”.

  2. Kezang Dawa says:

    kunza you are delightful writer ever i have seen in this website nopkin….keep writing and we love to read yours most.

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