In her eyes of enjoyment, I see thousand rays of smile!
Only you in this town, I see love fill in your smile!
One that is all mix with zephyr, thousand wafts with thy aroma!
Thousands of love, in that wall of division!
Only you are standing, alone with mission!
One that is mix with gentleness, thousands follows thy way!
One alone with thee, with thy shape of marvelous!
In those eyes of joy, dwelling you and countless!
I get dissolve in love, the love of transform!
Still along on your journey, wafting like the feather!
Think about me; Think about my time with you!
Still I hold the breadth, the breadth of your hither!
Galloping sound of your coming, my heart throbs to hear!
Thy face shines far, yet covering the large arena!
Thee in that power may your love flourish, come hither, young girl!
In her eyes of enjoyment, I see thousand rays of smile!
Yes, I walked away and it’s true. I kept silence, tried to close my eyes and pretended to be bold enough. It’s even true. Why? Because the reason I do such might be of much weight-age rather than continuing with my own self-centered extra marital life. I can understand the intensity of pain that you’re bearing as more pain is in my heart. The day I decided myself that I would walk away from you till today, the trauma of leaving you kills me the most. All the time I smile and pretend everything to be okay; hold back my tears and pain. In reality, my love for you never ends. I know, and it’s true that the worst mistake I am committing is to walk away from you; you who actually stood there and waited for me.
The biggest challenge in me now is how to make you understand. How to let you know why I walked away? Dear, it’s not coz I don’t love you. It’s neither you hated me nor I. it’s not coz loving you is not worth it. It’s not coz someone more dear than you came in my life. It’s not coz the distance hampered the degree of my feeling for you. I always appreciate your absence which makes me think of you more. The reasons are far beyond. We may not know or realize the importance of people associated with you for a longer span of time unless they try to cheat you. Having had the extreme experience and understanding those people who had similar problems, I bit my lips to decide and walk away before things get too serious.
My dear, you have a lovely family. I have my own. In due course of time what I learned is, little problems are always associated within our own family. They are part and parcel of life as life itself isn’t certain. Keeping such in mind, cheating doesn’t justify to the family members that you and I have. Nor it would solve the problem. Rather, our secret relation would worsen and ruin the situation. That is the biggest fear that I bore. Why? Coz we have to be fit in society. People around have trusted me and still they do. Therefore, I can’t be selfish enough to ruin them, hurt their sentiments and betray them. It’s rather I suffer to walk away from you. In doing so, once again I would like to say that the pain in you is understood. Come on dear, do you like to be a black sheep in a family? Would you be happy in a situation of people blaming you for leaving your own life partner? Most importantly, can you betray your life partner?
Dear, I still love you so much. That is the reason why I can’t withstand without kissing you the moment I am next to you. The warmth of being next to you is still amazing. The glorious and fine characters in you still kill me and make me mad. But what can I do rather than to walk away silently holding my heart. Even to mention about walking away in articles, my heart beats abnormally but there is no way I should be selfish. I equally respect your family. They trust and respect me so much. I can’t hurt them anymore. I want them to continue the situation normally. I can’t be a stone hitting the hump of bees. You clearly said once that “You would hate me if I treated the way you treated me”. I totally agree with you. Now, I frankly say, I don’t mind even if you hate me as it’s me who should be blamed. Me! Useless and coward creature on this filthy earth deserves to be shot, deserves to be hanged and made to torture the whole life for disturbing your good sentiments.
Having said much nonsense, I repeat: I am not walking away coz I don’t love you anymore! I am biting my lips to walk away for the continuity of the peaceful situation within your family and mine, for the well being of your successful married life and to prevent from chaos of walking into the dirty courts, which I always hate!!!!!!!!!!!!
Let me say these few things to you. I don’t know whether you would care to read this or not! But I would love it if you just travel through my thoughts, in fact my feelings, for a minute or so.
I love you truly but there are thousand reasons why I am leaving you. You were good to me. Really good. Though you weren’t my first love, you stole away my heart and still it rests in you. It is too hard to take away yet I have to do it. How bad I am? I know, withdrawing an axe from a wounded heart after a long time is more painful than the initial cut. But there is no way I should be continuing as situations are not suitable. I regret for not realizing it before. I am too stupid. At first, I just meant to love you and never wanted you to love me back. But things happened in a way I never desired. It’s all due to my selfish, self-centered and ego mind. When I just decide things to go it in a normal way, I don’t get that line to say “SORRY”. In fact, I deserve to be hanged! Really!
As our secret journey started, you made me feel so cool. You showed me the beautiful part of life and made me feel humble ever. The finest character of a woman that you bear made me go even madder. You even introduced me to some of the finest people on earth and led me towards a brighter side of living; though due to my ignorance and ill-mindedness I couldn’t follow the daily practice seriously. But I bet you, I will always strive to be serious once I am little free. Here again, I deserve the world’s biggest sin.
I never thought my journey of love to you would travel to such a peak until I realized that the things are getting too serious. It was traveling beyond the line of secrecy. The wind of disclosure was blowing faster. This filthy man, bearing the heart of a coward couldn’t handle it rather than to leave! You have your own family and so do I. Why did I do that? Still, you hold a special place in my heart. You do it in a beautiful way. Remember! I just leave but won’t forget! The dilemma I face killed me more than ever. The beautiful moments of sharing the place together to have those silly lunches, walking together along those junctions and eating out those small snacks are yet too fresh in my mind. This time, I don’t deserve even the slightest forgiveness.
As I still love you, and with that in mind, I promise we can still walk together, jog together, share our thoughts, gather, drink together, celebrate together, walk hand in hand (if only you and me), and keep things going the same way as before. I know I did a wrong thing, but I can’t lose you to just walk away and forget me. At least, I want you around me so that, silently, I can enjoy the beauty of my finest woman ever encountered in my life……… So SORRY, I walked away! But I hold you still!!!
There he stood, his hands moving like an artists’. I am lost for a while, observing him. He is [only] a person making brooms – one set was what is commonly called in our country as the hard broom. Another delicate set lay a little further away from him. They looked more like flower buds. I pick one up and look at it carefully. Before I realize, I find that I have remarked that it looks more like a flower and it is a shame that they should be used as broom. But anyway, that is immaterial in comparison to what followed.
I am with my colleagues. I honestly don’t remember clearly how we came to be there. It is in a lucid, secret corner of the country. There is a green meadow surrounding this man’s house, which is a two storeyed house with a wide verandah – and that is where he works. He does not even seem to cultivate his field. By the look of it, he seems to live on this trade. Right across his house is a blacktopped road (the color a bit washed away). I think to myself that it is strange that such a small corner of the country should have got road a long time ago. This road is bordered by broad-leaved forest, which adds to the serenity of the place. I first fall in love with the place. Then, I catch eyes of the man.
All this while, I am lost in my own thoughts, my colleagues have bought quite a large number of hard broom and when I notice, they are putting them in a sack. I quietly pull out the gentler broom and indicate to the man that I want to buy that. I find myself taken aback by the price. It is just Nu 5.00. I don’t have change. So I pay him Nu 500.00. He takes quite a while in counting the change. Before he has handed over the change to me, my colleagues have left the place. I quickly go up the ladder (stranger still that the exit should be from the top floor and not where the verandah is). I count the change as I walk and find that he has actually slipped into my hands a huge amount of money. I run back to him to tell him that he has mistakenly given me more than was owed.
He stood next to the fence, where he has a friend working on it. As I step in front of him, a little breathless from the rush, he pulls me over in his arms and kisses me on my lips. And at that moment, all differences seem to have fallen apart. I am drowned by the emotions in his eyes and it didn’t matter that he couldn’t speak. As I write this, I remember how gentle his lips and hands were despite being a person on the farm. He tells me that he wanted me to take the money and he refuses to take it back. Anyway, he walks with me, in a way of seeing me off. As we leave his house, I see that his wife is at the back of his house, pushing swing for children. I didn’t notice earlier that there is a small park behind his house. I am unsure if I should go and inform his wife that I am now leaving – and then, I choose not to go.
Still feeling little butterflies in my heart, we walk on. My colleagues are waiting near a stream, every one of them looking at us, as if they have some kind of suspicion of wrongdoing. I feel a little guilty, firstly for having come without saying goodbye to his wife, and secondly for making my colleagues wait. We walk up to them, both of us smiling, acknowledging their presence. Suddenly, he is nowhere to be seen. Panic runs down me. Did he leave and I didn’t know? Did he feel ignored? The burden on my heart is heavier than the guilt now. I have fallen for him in the duration of two hours and it didn’t matter that he couldn’t speak.
Adam and Eve defied god’s instructions, tasted the forbidden fruits and they remained on this earth.
Romeo and Juliet left behind their awe-inspiring eternal love legacy.
Shajahan built magnificent Taj Mahal for his beloved Mamtazmahal.
Egyptian king ordered his artists to carve the most beautiful statue of the queen Nefertiti.
Lord Tennyson penned down the famous poem titled “The Lady of Shallot”.
Shakespeare wrote the most renowned play called “The Tamming of the Shrewd”.
Rohan Rathor composed and left behind sentimental song for his beloved girl.
Cameron ventured to direct most super hit and legendary Hollywood movie the “Titanic”.
Lord Shiva fought countless battles and embraced many challenges just to win Sati’s love and admiration.
Guru Padmashamvawa tied bond with two Khandoms, though against his strict Buddhist precepts.
Osama Bin laden married five women, in spite of his stature as the most wanted world terrorist.
Gasa Lama Singye jumped into the conflagration to show his genuine love for his departed wife the changyuel Galem.
It was the time when Nopkin use to be the main recreational site for most of the first-timer budding bloggers like myself. It was the day when one used to scribble the day’s happening and post and in return, showers of comments from the readers alike encourages one to scribbles more…… the attachment use to garner among the Nopkin hitters. Line of new members happened to see aligned and branching-out the fraternity of the Nopkin. Light-hearted moment used to be shared by every races of people and some heart-throbbing scenes penned-down for easing the momentum. The moment one gets bored, this was one den that one usually submit for full synergies in the momentum of lives. One would say, that was the happy moment of all………. at least I positively used to believe! It was the time, when I use to be known to the nopkins as ‘TheDogService’ avatar.
Today, as I once again reminisce those moments as I passby this very tag, its kinda nostalgic experiences…..but the sad thing is, the look of Nopkin has drastically taken another shift where, the charm is quite hard to express with little words as I see my account deactivated and articles that I shared being erased. To add more, the complexity of the app has little attraction. This clearly depicts through many of the accounts being left without much concerns. The boast of having about 4000 members is quite a contrary with hundreds still remain a ghost account. And, its not a happy hearing of the most-liked sites of all ages.
Nevertheless, still the loyal and ardent fans can be seen fully attached and the vernal expression still showering in. But, many of our expressionist Nopkins seems to have disappeared compared to those days. Hope the days will reel back with same kinds of joyousness and full of live-awakening moments…….
A journey begins with
A thought in our mind
Words are chosen and formed
Lines of poem
Well written with meanings
With touch of emotions and expressions
A poet starts with
An inspiration of mind,
An aspiration in soul
On our life experience
We start to
Expressing our innermost thoughts
With deep contemplation
To put them in verses
A journey begins when
A poet takes his imagination
To a place where
No one ever dreamed or imagined before
A poet’s journey ends by
writing another lovely poem
And a deep reflection
A poet remains
As a poet
When he or she
Write and Share
High up beneath the beautiful sky, down on the wonderful earth, careful on the lawn
I am there waiting!
Down at the base of the huge mountain, there near the wavy meander, next to the dried log
I am there walking!
Top on the rock feeling the zephyr, looking at the flying birds, feeling the rhythm of love
I am there smiling!
Near at the base of scented cypress, holding the little petal, reminiscing poignant melody
I am there navel-gazing!
Walking by the leading road, near the legendary bridge of truth, head held high
I am there coming!
Holding the mightiest pen with the thought, nearing to play to construe, joining each and every words
I am there writing!
Waiting near the garden of roses and daffodils, considering the beauty in it, folding my arms with poise
I am there enjoying!
Today in my room, tomorrow out in the air, yesterday in the past
I am there chanting!
Hidden in the mood of angst, fighting for the right, seeing the conflict
I am there wondering!
May not the world be ruled with injustice, may the peace prevail, and may someone lead to be good
I am there praying!
I hate not anyone, I love everyone, I care all and that is my potential
Yes I am one of a kind!
When I was in school, I was always enthralled by the superstition of collecting lucky leaves. I was told that if I can catch as many lucky leaves as possible, I would easily get through my examination papers. I never had a shred of doubt about its authenticity, in fact, I believed blindly and unquestionably in what my elders practiced or followed.
What I usually do is, when my examination approaches near, I just wander amidst lots of trees looking vigilantly for falling leaves. As gentle breeze caresses the leaves, I become most active and determined to catch as many leaves before they settle down on the ground. In the pursuit of lucky leaves, I am not only crazy soul, amazingly, many school goers, both male and female can be seen conspicuously chasing lucky leaves.
If I happened to catch lucky leaves, number wouldn’t matter; I meticulously and tidily keep those leaves within the pages of the books. The more lucky leaves I possess, the more admiration and compliment I received from my friends. As the custodian of lots of lucky leaves, I have the prerogative to brag about myself, and I can certainly assure the colorful aspect of my examination without actually sitting for them.
Another amusing superstition that I believed was seeing blazing ambulance with siren to be a good omen. It is said to herald good luck, when the actual fact is that the patient inside the ambulance battles between his/her life and death. Whoever sees the ambulance first is believed to gain good luck for a day. When I get the first glimpse of the ambulance, I usually wish for something good to happen to me within that particular day. So, I used to eagerly and frequently survey motor roads for the sign of ambulance plying to and fro. I never knew the grave situation and tension that rest inside the ambulance; I only cared for its appearance, so that my day is filled with good fortunes though against the unknown fate of the others.
As a child, I was never encouraged to crack a walnut after the sunset, be it outside or inside the house. I clandestinely tried to crack walnuts several times, at odd hours, but this eerie belief of my parents always hunted me and thwarted my endeavor. They said cracking walnuts after the sunset is tantamount to cracking one’s parents’ heads. Whether I believed in their belief or not, I haven’t cracked a single walnut after sunset so far, and I won’t hereafter whatever the reason is behind.
Empty bamboo basket and empty containers
Early in the morning, if you happened to see empty bamboo basket or empty containers, it is said to bring bad luck to the beholder. When I was student, my mind was always obsessed with this superstition; hence, I always prayed that empty baskets or containers don’t mess my mood very early in the morning. But unavoidably, I had encountered people carrying empty baskets and containers early in the morning, which knowingly or unknowingly upset my mood many a time. Contrarily, I don’t remember the consequences that I suffered from seeing empty baskets or containers, but my mind had been indoctrinated to such superstition.
Mumps and pigsty
Once I contracted this contagious disease called mumps during my childhood days. I experienced it for the very first time in my life. Therefore, I didn’t know how to live with it or how to cure this queer disease. I have seen people suffering from this disease and heard about it. As a child, I didn’t have thorough knowledge about the disease, nor did my parents.
But my parents believed in a superstition correlated to mumps. You would find it unorthodox or hilarious, but I did believe in it because they believed in it too. I was asked to go near a pigsty and do three consecutive prostrations. They said it would definitely cure my mumps.
When I heard their suggestion for the first time, I couldn’t believe it. In fact, I felt it strange and so peculiar. On the one hand, I was suffering from swelling check, on the other hand, I was asked to do three prostrations near a pigsty. Somehow, I walked near clustered of pigsties, looked for the presence of any human beings up and down, here and there. I found none, and I quickly did three prostrations with embarrassment and apprehension overflowing in my heart. After those prostrations, neither did my mumps disappear, nor did it show any sign of healing.
It is uploaded for the reading pleasure of all the nopkin members….i hope you all will love to read it.
Don’t let me cry through this poem;
My eyes are too young to cry;
Though I am not a poet,
Whose poem is already written?
I see poem is within my heart
When I think of you every time.
My heart ache and drowsy numbness pains.
Every peep I made from my lamented heart;
Nothing gives peace only pain of grief.
That you have left everything all alone
The words of goodbye have never said.
Before you accept the call of death.
Fade far away, and quite forget the loving.
Here, where men sit and bear each other pain.
Poem must not have written;
Agony will never give peace,
When everything laden eyes despair.
Before the evening prayer are sung
The prayer that I sing for you is all true;
Tears that I shed are all pure,
But you never come back to me!
I cry for longing,
Since everything is gone forever,
That death took away my young mother.
Leaving innocent child behind.
What can bring back my mother?
We cannot fill the void of death,
I cannot blame God nor you my mother;
For leaving behind us so soon.
We are meant to go away once;
Nothing is immortal in this world, I can say;
Once born is death so parallel,
I shall see you there where you stay;
Since I am going to be old soon;
I will have to follow the same path;
Though this is not a poem,
But this is only a poetry emotion;
Where the poem is written by this man;
Who desperately missed a mother.
For leaving this poet alone;
Under the depth of despair;
I shall sing this poem as prayer;
Mother, you are no more here in this world
I shall pray for your soul rest in peace…
Wherever you are;
I missed you dear mother…
They must be feasting their eyes with kaleidoscope of splendid landscapes,
Here, I am totally fed up of beholding mountains that surround this dale.
They must be going to Cinema halls, Drayangs and Discotheques to while away their boredom.
Here, I am simply confined only within the four walls of staffroom and my crooked makeshift.
They must be driving Ferrari, Tucson, and Swift uplifting their status.
Here, I am deprived of even descrying a bicycle.
They must be intoxicating themselves with foreign imported liquors like; vodka, Santa Barbara, Fosters etc
Here, I am only left with narrow option to either go for Araa or Bangchng.
They must be going to vegetable market to avail array of fresh vegetables as and when need arises.
Here, I am with my taste bud subdued by the taste of pumpkins and potatoes.
They must be strengthening their body and mind with nutritious meat, butter and cheese.
Here, I am reinforcing my bodily nutrition with whatever villagers bring to sell.
They must be comfortably and easily using machines to cook for them.
Here, I am compelled to cook hazardously using kerosene stove and firewood more often.
They must be befriending people from all professions.
Here, I am left with my co-workers, children and villagers as my friends.
They must be blessed with the wonder of electricity.
Here, I am utterly dependent on the sun’s mercy.
I know I have something to say,
From my broken heart;
Though I am not romantic poet,
Who gives tears to the reader’s eyes?
Who feel pity to my poem?
The one who know my pain will laugh
A person who doesn’t have pain will never cry;
I know I cannot resist this pain;
After you have broken into pieces.
I know I am luckiest person to have this pain;
When my heart was in exceeding peace.
That you have already broken.
I don’t want to see you coming back
With your heart full of lie;
Now I don’t have any space left;
To keep you warm under broken apart;
When everything is left deserted;
I am only the one who endure with full of tears.
Under the rhythm of broken ache.
I am not happy with what you have given me;
Idol makes what I am;
I have no sleep no food nor drink.
From the day you have broken my heart.
I thank you for being teacher of my broken love;
Ye taught me how to taste the broken pain.
Now, my heart was broken beyond repair.
Reconcile is what I cannot now;
Why so many tears fall,
Why my heart bleed more.
Why my voice choked after you went away.
You can kill me at once;
Rather than keeping me in broken pain;
I am already killed by your desolate pain.
I don’t know what else is love?
Why love was born in other face.
I can’t blame god or you;
Why this happen to us between.
Faith alone can say.
Love begins after everything is broken.
TEACHER: There will be an elementary science test next week. Contrary to his nature, Karma reads his book from cover to cover like no man’s business. On test day, teacher lines up about 5 birds, covering each with a piece of cloth so only their legs is visible.
QUESTION: Looking at the leg of a bird write down its common name, species, family, zoological name, habitat etc. After about 20 minutes of frustration and not writing down anything, Karma storms to the teacher’s desk and slams his blank sheet in front of the teacher.
KARMA: Sir, this test makes no sense! I am going home!
TEACHER: What a rude boy! Come back here. What is your name? Karma raises his Gho little up and points to his leg “Oya, you too, look at my leg and tell me my name, my family, my house address, what tribe I come from….
I am on Facebook and suddenly a chatbox pops up “Hi Sangay”. I respond and we exchange pleasantries and I feel glad that she is doing good. We chat for some time, updating each other what we have been up to during these “so many years” since we last came across each other…
But the queer thing is, I am not sure who she is exactly because she shares the same name to another friend on my list. On her profile picture, all I can see is a cute little baby picture, a boy I think. When I click on her profile, I am greeted by the same baby, but bigger. On the cover photo, he looks cuter!
“You cute little thing, who is your mommy?”
I wouldn’t simply ask her who exactly she is because that would sound odd. So I do a bit of exploring on her profile page… clicking here and there trying to find one photo of her. I can click on her “About” page and make out who she is, but the first tempting thing is obviously to click on her “Photos” and instantly see the face.
But lo! there is not a single photo of her. All I see is the photos of her baby in different positions and angles, of different occasions and in different expressions, and believe me not a single photo of her!
Well, my dear Friends, if your profile looks same it tells a lot of things; that you are a loving parent and love your children very much; that your world simply revolves around them; that you exist simply for them… which is much appreciated and that’s how every parent should be.
But that wouldn’t mean that you have completely vanished and all you are now is what your baby is. So come on friends, put “your” photo on the profile picture at least. That is your identity!
I haven’t been much into the Nopkin.com of late due to several reasons. I know people can make up lots of excuse but I am not making up excuses for my being passive in this website. Of many reasons that kept me away from nopkin, one is obviously my shrinking memory (lol). I had forgotten my password and I tried to get the new password using my mail ID which took me sometime for I had to try all the mail IDs that I have.
It took me several times and I was thinking of contacting our webmaster but nevertheless I thought I would give a last try punching all the passwords that I could probably imagine and BINGO! I was in.
Now I am planning to write all the passwords in a note book and keep it safe…. Hope I don’t forget the whereabouts of the notebook…hehe
As the breeze came wafting through spring turfs;
Blended with the melancholy melodies added by birds
Thoughts are clung there in green bower
Whole scenario drafted like the waves of the ocean.
As I walk slowly down with mellow spring sun
Lushly germination promises a utopian summer
But the journey seems hard with myriad audacity
Like a blooming bud wilts by blazing early summer sun.
As I come with many hopes and aspirations
They are just like a stray beacon at distant
Where I can see and sense but only at night
Solitude, caged, grim and only purpose like a beacon at distant.
As I sail through the vast clam ocean during full moon
I am struck at the same as I was before
The tide is high; the moon is full and gigantic
Sinking slowly like a Titanic did, scattering the hopes…
As I walk by the shore, I see myself
Frozen facial muscles, sad expression I can see
Wonder how the shore could read me, because
Ripples are paved with grief, I cause.
As I sit quietly with horde at the corner of class
I see the mates’ face light with glee, blended with joy and laugh
Uncomfortable around me may born if I live the way I lived
Why should I do that, my life is not theirs’, coz’ nothing can take away my pain.
“Life is the thread of experiences that we bind as we sit through the looms of diverse routines. Day-to-day struggles and triumphs are the twist of life experienced by all of the world’s creatures, whether or not they like. As human beings, able and sensible, we are licensed to choose and react to these challenges. Every decision that we make give way to a different nets of road. As expected, we will never come to exactly the same crossroads. Every decision that we take is weighed down with significance. Even the tiniest choice we make would make a world of difference, as more resolute the better”.
Some broken hearts never wake, where some silent minds never cheer. For last two and half decades, it has been very hard for me to choose any life-affirming path because every path kept preying on my mind. I tried my hardest to swallow a bitterness of my life and tried to fight back my tears to force to a smile. And I had been walking forward looking back since from a day I knew, how to save the memories but still the pain nailed deep in my heart refuse to ease off. I had been always hoping, keeping my finger crossed that one day there will be a footing for the better or normal life. But the past is so excruciating that I could not put on a brave face rather had the life to go on. Fears drain away whenever I thought of taking new turn for better life. It’s going to be another nail in my coffin as it keeps pricking my mind. For how long I have to go on through this thick and thin with the mere destination, will I reach there? As my hopes, determinations and willingness are retiring to grow fainter.
As any young man or child did for the urge to succeed in life, I jog my fading memory and thinking about the future is strange, it dragoons me into thinking hard about the give of life at this moment. Yet I am young and I have a dream. But I remained silent; my dream is not cocooned from dreaming, it’s in my earshot and at heart. Fear gripped me, making any dream and hope retreat into its shell, and knots in the throat like cannon ball in the pit of my tummy, ready to propel and leaving no trace of life that was once burning looked forward to. My strength to brave life or utopian future seems to seep away with each breath I draw in.
Life isn’t as simple as I thought and as beautiful as I wished rather it is very hard for the common person like me. I know that some are even worse than me, sorry for them but I know the pain as I have walked through the path they walked and for those who have better life, may they always live happily ever after. The every breath I take and every heartbeat I feel is swallowed up by the fears which are said to be the supply of sorrows, thinking that my day of the life may collapse. How hard I try to pave the ways for the better life, they are only meant to go to the wall at the end of the day.
Each day I live, pain consumes me and rubs salt into the wound, and, to crown it all, makes me fall down and sink into the depression. I try to prove my stand; still I am drowned in the ocean of deep sorrow as I see the life is just a receptacle of everything – seeds of our own makings. I walk, but there is no path. I live, but I am not among the living. As I sail through the vast unseen life with holes in the bottom of my heart, I am struck. My life is making a failing exhibition of myself before others very eyes; I cry out in pained petition, but to no avail- no one waits for me. I try to pin my hopes on erasing pain, but the effort looks to fall, train of heavy thoughts race through my mind and eat me away every moment. I see death is only the way though it’s not the way to sort out since no one could ever understand why I want it sooner than someone planned, the thing is I only want to end it today, actually it’s not something I want for me but to be a better man from tomorrow.
No one is same. Each person on earth is unique. We have our own physical characteristics. Some of us have red hair, some have blue eyes and some tall and some are too short. We differ by personalities. Some are shy, stubborn and some fearless. There are characteristics that we were born with and some we inculcate through our experiences. And we are never conscious to notice such vivid stuffs which matters our daily lives.
When you don’t know who you are there are chances that the consequences will teach, who really you are. You will not remember how you have lived your past. You will not enjoy how you are going with present. And you will not see the future.
It is hard to die young. It is bad to make mistakes. It is burden to know the truth of how miserable will be if you don’t know the truth about your life. Under the influence of not knowing the best in you by the power of negligence and society, aroma of young will not continue far till the end.
Decision is very important in your life. If you want to drive your own life better be yourself a good driver. It is better to decide now of your own and live a life worth living. Decide to whom you want to spend rest of your life. There are many boys and girls without parents and brought up under the care and guidance of uncle and aunt. And there are millions who are lucky enough to live with dear parents. The day will come for everyone to live and lead life of your own. And the best motivation is to get marry.
Marry the choice of your heart. Burry and blend the suggestions and feedbacks with your love from your parents or someone whom you are dependent to. It is indeed curse for few to let burry their true inner essence of love in the fear of seem rejection that you are offering if you don’t go with their choice.
Once upon a time in a village called Bayyuel, there lived a beautiful girl. She was living with her aunt and uncle. When she was in class ten her parents got divorced and there was no destiny for her since then. Father went with stepmother and her mother couldn’t live long to see how her left out kids grow to face the challenging world. Only option left was to live with her aunt, the elder sister of her gone mom.
After class twelve she didn’t continue her study. She chose to work. She was employed in an organization. Almost everything was done to her by aunt and uncle. Her younger sisters and brothers were too looked after by them.
The biggest day came for her when she was asked by her aunt to marry a man of their choice. She has never known the man. She has not studied the man in depth. She was carried away in the fear of refusal and reaction from her aunt and uncle. Blindly she accepted the proposal and agreed that he was good and will be good throughout her life. Her life was decided by her aunt.
But her notion proved wrong after few months of her into marriage life. The real characters of her husband as wild is known and almost everything was a big bombshell for her. And she was busted into the wild with emotions and thus again the shadow appeared in her life.
Decide your own life no matter what others might say you to do, ultimately you are breathing independently.
Your name is the reminder
I want to forget for life
It’s your name, that’s my enemy:
Your name fetches me love
Your name warms my heart
Your name gives me joy
Your name fills me with laughter
Your name completes me
No matter the pleasant life
I can never forgive myself
For I have lost the man I loved
And the wounds won’t go away
Until your name is off my chest
You are becoming the reason
I want to forget my worthiness
The fact that you are not mine
Is in the name I remember
Of a man I dearly loved
That I cannot love like this again
It’s in a blink of your name
I breathe my love for you
It’s in your name, that’s my enemy
I was hurt beyond words. I was sinking in sorrow. My only solace was to pour my emotions on my Facebook profile through updating the status. I was least bothered that some people, especially my colleagues who are senior to me will find it queer. When you are drunk on emotions of love, you care less of everything else. People have judged me to be a very strong girl. I didn’t really want to portray myself that way, but I felt good about it anyway. It made me think that they respected me as a girl who wouldn’t easily fall victim to any man who made easy promises. But I did. And that is the tragedy of my life. In fact the way people saw me (as a strong girl) made it more difficult for me to deal with it.
I have known him all my life; and we have been friends all our life, until a sudden change crept in. That, I thought was the game of the destiny. Secretly, I have loved him, my best friend. My parents knew him. And worse still, our parents knew each other – and they in fact wished that we would marry. I have heard our mothers secretly talk about it. They even planned on arranging our marriage, if we didn’t fall for each other and get married. All this was only till I and his mother found out that he was already seeing someone else. This girl he was seeing was from a different village, someone his mother couldn’t trust. It made it all the worse, when the girl claimed to be pregnant and he hastily married her, only to learn much later that she wasn’t pregnant at all. Anyway, they remained married. Though he was my first love, and also the love of my life, I prayed well for them. And I decided to move on, amidst much heartaches and tears.
As hard as I tried, I felt like I was dying. This hurt that I felt, something like the lump of hurt that stayed locked in my heart was nothing like any hurt I knew. I cried day and night. My eyes were swollen. I went to office with puffy eyes, my hair uncombed. More than the tears I shed, I was writhing in pain. When I went through all this pain, I had not even a best friend I could share it to, because, all along, I was the strong, respected girl who would never fall victim to such emotions. I must admit that I regretted ever having said anything at all to girls who had cried getting heartbroken over love, or boys who had drunk over unrequited love. Now I knew what it was like to fall in love, get hurt and feel that you have never deserved a true love.
In the midst of all this drama, I met a man, who I thought was god-sent. I thanked God that he had heard me and had sent me someone to take me out of it. But this was only short lived. How I met him is bit bizarre, not because I was drunk. I am not the type who drinks to get over pain. But surely I was drunk over hundreds of emotions that I was feeling for the first time. I had no experience of any of this. This new man in the scene read my thoughts, told me exactly how I felt, and took me in his arms. Oh it did feel good to have someone who knew exactly what I wanted, and made me feel loved. And me the strong girl was already half way through to marriage before I realized that it had all come in a bit of a rush. And he disappeared. He disappeared and I didn’t hear from him again. When I came to my senses, I even wondered if I he had even told me his real name. At this time, at the turn of the events, I must feel utterly deceived. I must feel more drowned in sorrow than I initially was, but I tell you, I am more matured now. He must have seen me as an easy victim to play his tricks on, but I emerge stronger. He has left, yes, but I haven’t forgotten his face. And this is not the end of the world. I do not mean to take revenge, but surely, just as he came walking in my life out of nowhere, he will get a lesson much the same way. That is when, I will probably smile that he chose to walk away before I got entangled in attachment, before I had made a higher commitment.